How to Avoid Multicolored Glittery Ribbons
by Utterly-Fabulous
Summary: Friends Eden and Destiny go off to see Beyonce! But get evil Mary-Sues set on Fandom domination instead. Now they must go and save Middle Earth from the horrors of evil whether they truly like it or not. But is this really just about 'Sues? BoromirxOC. Book one of the Super OC Chronicles
1. Beyonce!

**alrighty, here's a really long story comin your way it will take some time to do this but it will get done. **

**eventually.**

**someday.**

**maybe.**

**disclaimer: i dont got it, i would be supermegafoxyawsomehot rich if i did**

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><p>"Eddie it is too early to be sitting in an unsanitary bus heading for a Beyoncé concert," Destiny complained from where she sat, squished next to her excited friend.<p>

"It's never too early to head out for a wonderful time immersed in good music," Eden said joyfully, which reminded Destiny how much of a morning person she was when given enough coffee.

"You're friggin insane chica," Destiny muttered before Eden pulled out a king sized Hershey's bar. "I love you," Destiny said as Eden unwrapped it.

"You thought this was for you? That would be funny if it weren't so sad" Eden said as she bit into the bar.

"I hate you, and I wish this bus would get to our stop already so I could drag you into an alleyway and kill you" Destiny said as she sat up to look out the window for any signs of human life.

"You're going to love the concert," Eden said, purposefully oblivious to her best friend's evil intentions. Destiny sighed in irritation as the bus jolted and bumped along.

Eventually they came to their stop.

"Uuhh . . . this doesn't look like a Beyoncé concert. Where are all the super-mega fans? The regular fans? The creepers selling illegal copies of tickets for insane prices? The idiots willing to buy said tickets? Where are they!" Destiny screamed in horror as she spun in circles wildly looking for some sign of a crazy Beyoncé lover.

"Hey! The bus drove off with our bags! YOU TACOS!" Eden screamed angrily at the shrinking bus, shaking her fist. Destiny grabbed Eden's fist and pulled it down to her side.

"Calling them delicious foods will not bring them back Eddie," Destiny said soothingly. "Why don't we go into that creepy and decrepit hotel and ask to use a phone? We can call a taxi and go home."

Destiny began to lead Eden towards the hotel. The words: _Black Forest, White Rose_ where painted on the front of the building.

"It looks like it belongs to a Mary-Sue," Eden said softly. "Most likely a ginger Mary-Sue! Destiny! I don't want my sole sucked out and then thrust into a shitty Fanfiction!"

"Shut up!" Destiny said as she pushed open the door, her head turned to her friend "this place does NOT belong to evil, ginger Mary-Sues intent on taking over certain loved Fanfictions!"

"Uh, D-Destiny?" Eden said softly, eyes wide with sheer horror. "You should look in front now."

She turned and saw a room filled with Mary-Sues, Mary-Sues of all completely horrible shapes and sizes.

Purple eyes, White hair, pink eyes, blue-black hair . . . you name it was there. And on a stage in front of all the Sues was most likely their leader. She had Red hair that fell in long wavy locks, golden eyes, and no freckles.

"YOU SAID THEIR WOULDN'T BE ANY GINGER MARY-SUES!"

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><p><strong>kinda short, but oh well.<strong>

**there is a button and it whispers: _click it, precious_**


	2. Little Black Book

**Numero dos peeps! **

**Disclaimer: if I had Lord of the Rings, there would have been more butterflies**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

Eden screamed before turning to run away. But it was too late. Mary-Sues were blocking all the exits.

In a few moments the girls were tied up.

To chairs.

With multicolored, glittery ribbons.

"How cliché is this? Chairs? Really and truly?" Destiny said as she wiggled and tried to get free.

"Well, well, well. It seems as if your splendid plan to lure in humans with the promise of this, Beyoncé, is it? Worked rather well Jessamene." The Grand High Mary-Sue said as she sat on top of a table, combing her hair.

"Thank you, your Wonderfulness." A Purple eyed, Blonde Mary-Sue said, bowing.

The Grand High Mary-Sue stood up from the table, executing a perfect hair flip as she did so.

"My name is Xanthia Worthington-Smythe; I am one of the most well known Mary-Sue in existent. I go by many names."

Eden screamed in horror and attempted to scoot her chair to the door, Destiny began to yell out how horribly painful it is to read about Sues.

"Silence! I do not wish to hear of slander against one of my many personalities!" The Grand High Mary-Sue snapped as she started to stalk around the chairs. She pulled out a small black book.

"I don't think you wanna read that out loud lady," Eden said "looks pretty private, that little black book of yours."

The Grand High Mary-Sue ignored her as she opened the book. "In this book is a list of some of the most common fan girl picks to be given a Mary Sue. Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Twilight and Labyrinth."

"How the _hell_ does Twilight get Mary-Sues?" Destiny asked, though she was more worried about The Labyrinth, poor, poor Jareth.

"I am sending my, Mary-Sues, as you call them, to these worlds to 'help out' so to speak. You will accompany them and help them 'help' these worlds." With that The Grand High Mary-Sue ended her monologue. The minion Sues clapped dutifully as The Grand High Mary Sue bowed and curtsied.

"Look, Xanthia, baby. We can't do that, we don't have the means-" Destiny began but was overrun by Eden.

"Plus we really don't want to be a part of your batshit insane evil shit." She snapped out, ignoring Destiny's pissed off look.

The Mary-Sues hissed and started forward menacingly but they were stopped by The Grand High Mary-Sue.

"Hahahaha! You girls are too funny!" she laughed. "Of course you want to help! It is just the nerves messing with your judgment!

"Uuhh . . . nooo, we are fine, we just don't wanna help with your evil Fandom world domination plan-thingy-ma-bob." Eden stated stiffly as she attempted to lean away from the hissing Sues.

The Grand Mary-Sue repeated to ignore the girls as she off handedly told a hazel eyed brunette and a pink eyed strawberry-blonde to 'fix them up'. The girls started to scream before their worlds went black.

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><p><strong>Soooo reviews are beautiful and should be shared with everyone? even me?<strong>


	3. RivenDELI

**kay kay! here is number 3!**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing! and it would be to much stress to own this anyway!**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Destiny let out a small groan as she moved. Her head hurt like she had hit it on the pavement or something, she struggled to lift her head but stopped when she heard slight movements around her and hushed whispering. "One of them is waking up," a female voice whispered and Destiny turned and saw Two Mary-Sues.

One had blonde hair that fell in curly ringlets and hazel eyes; the other was a blue eyed ginger. Destiny winced; Eddie was not going to like that.

"Where is Eddie?" Destiny asked the glaring girls. She cautiously stood up but froze after her eyes focused on her reflection in the pond she lay next to. She gasped in horror and touched her face, but the reflection copied her movements. Her hair was a deep blue-black that complemented her brown skin and her eyes were a riveting green.

She was a Mary-Sue.

"Ahh," Eden screamed as she shot up awake. She was breathing hard looking around herself to see if she was in hell with evil Mary-Sues or not.

"Eddie, calm down," Destiny said trying to calm Eden down as she sat up. That's when Destiny noticed the changes in Eden, her hair was white and contrasted with her brown skin, her eyes where a deep bluish-black.

"Who are you? Where's Destiny?" Eden screamed as she pushed Destiny away and began scooting away from her.

"Im right here you stupid head! I know I look like a Mary-Sue but so do you! Look!" Destiny grabbed Eden's head and turned it so that she was looking into the pond.

"Sweet Mary mother of God," Eden whispered in sheer horror at the sight before her. "Could this get any worse?"

"Hurry up lesser beings!" the blonde called out, "you may call me Fiorelle and my companion is Quiana! Hurry up! We must reach Rivendeli by night fall!"

"She's a ginger," Eden whispered horrified.

"Did she just say RivenDELI?" Destiny whispered back, "That soo stupid why would Elrond open up a Deli?"

"I have no idea. Good marketing? I mean if they sold fish meat in deli's, I mean he lives next to a river and everything." Eden replied as they walked through the woods. "Do you think this is the movie or the book? Im praying to the Valar that it's the movie, because I was in the middle of _The Two Towers_ before we left for Beyoncé and I honestly don't remember shit."

"You honestly believe I read those? Eww. Books."

Eden brushed of the slander at her most favorite things in the world and kept on going.

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><p><strong>review! cmon! i don't even like begging! but im serious people. im not updating anymore unless i gets some serious feed back, hell even flames would be nice! at least i would know people were reading this!<strong>


	4. consentration 64

**Looksies! another chapter!**

**disclaimer: i ownith this not! besides Eden, and destiny! i take no owner ship of those God dammed Mary-Sues**

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Destiny turned to smile at Eden. "Rivendell is a very pretty place. The way it looks in the movies doesn't do justice. It's gorgeous!"

"And there is lots and lots of eye candy." Eden said as she stared at the Elves

"Oh my goodness! Really? Honestly?" Destiny snapped as they approached the main gates.

"What? Im not allowed to admire the pretty Elves? If they didn't want to be fawned over by us 'mere mortals' then they should cover all the prettiness up!" Eden said before Quiana turned on them.

"Silence! We are approaching! Say nothing while we speak to the guards." She commanded before flouncing up to the guards.

Halt!" called one of the guards.

The Mary-Sues froze. Eden and Destiny sat down and began to play concentration.

"What is your business in Imladris?" Demanded the other Guard.

The two Sues exchanged confused glances.

"This is great, just great. They don't even know what Imladris is!" Eden whispered angrily to her friend. "And whoa, the blonde guard is supermegafoxyawsomehot."

"It would be great to watch them humiliate themselves, but if they get their asses kicked, we'll probably get our asses kicked to." Destiny reasoned as Eden stood up and walked over to the guards, grandly shoving the Sues out of the way.

"We are but travelers, Sir, traveling here on a journey of the upmost importance," Eden told him, pressing a hand to her middle and bowing deeply.

The guards still looked troubled. "What is this journey you speakith of?" asked the really pretty one of the two.

"I fear it may only be spoken of with one of your number, who are Council members bade us to go to. Know you of Lord Elrond?"

The guards exchanged a look.

"How do you know of Lord Elrond?" one of them asked.

"Our House Leaders sent us, saying that our skills would be needed. We can speak of it only to him, as are our orders."

"You speak as though you're a warrior," the other one said.

Eden huffed; she was getting pissed off by the look in his eyes, the "oh-there-just-women-they-don't-do-much' look. "Look, what you see is what you get Mister. And if you don't like it then it really sucks to be you, 'cause there is more to a person then what meets the eye and-"

Destiny put a hand on Eden's shoulder. "Cool it Eddie,"

"Im good," Eden said, pulling in deep breathes. "Im good,"

A little while later they were all in Elrond's study and explaining why they were there.  
>Actually Fiorelle and Quiana where explaining, and Destiny and Eden were looking out the window, and silently were playing 'I Spy'.<p>

"I am Fiorelle, from the House of the Forever Moving Moon, and this is my dearest friend Quiana from the House of the Lonely Seas."

Lord Elrond lifted an arched eyebrow. "And what of your companions?" Everyone turned and stared at Eden and Destiny who where silently bickering over which bird Eden saw.

"I know what I saw!"

"Know you don't! You could never play this game!"

"I can to! How dare thee!"

Destiny and Eden froze when they noticed the quietness of the room. "Well, from where do you fare?" Lord Elrond asked them.

"This is Eden and Destiny, from the House of the Birch," Quiana said quickly covering the awkwardness of the situation. "They are our most trusted ladies-in-waiting."

Eden and Destiny looked at each other; WTF looks plastered all over their faces.

"Ladies-in-waiting?" Eden mouthed, "What are they smoking?"

"I don't know," Destiny mouthed back, before she looked back at the Elves. She saw that the Guards had noticed their faces and where attempting to hide their laughter.

After a lengthy speech on the hospitality of Elves To more Elves showed the evil Sues their rooms while the guards showed Destiny and Eden's theirs.

"I take it that you both are not the best at following orders." The blonde elf asked once they were standing outside Eden and Destiny's door.

"Especially not from them," Eden said gleefully as she rolled on the balls of her feet. "What are your names? You both know ours."

"True, my name in Angrod," the second guard said, "this 'Pretty Elf' here is Amras"

Destiny and the Elves laughed as Eden hid her face behind her hands before pulling Destiny into their rooms and shutting the doors with a bang.

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><p><strong>i used a an Elvish Name Generator for the Guards names! hurray for lazyness!<strong>

**Review!**


	5. Attempted Man Stealing

Chapter 5

Eden woke up with Destiny staring at her while stroking her hair. "AAAHHHHHH!" she screamed before a startled Destiny fell of the bed.

"What was that for?" Destiny grumbled as she rubbed her head. Eden ignored her as she grabbed some random clothes that had been lain down on a chair the night before, and rushed into the bathroom.

When she finished she sat on her bed and pulled on some wonderfully convenient knee-high boots while Destiny finished Eden hopped up and down and giggled. "Let's go exploring!" Eden then went flying out the door and down the hall.

"As long as we don't see bitchzilla 1 and bitchzilla 2!" Destiny called before she attempted to catch up.

Eventually the girls found themselves in a courtyard of sorts, which was pretty cool in it of its self. The sad part was that _they _were here. They were standing in the middle of the courtyard, hanging all over Aragorn and Legolas.

"Wait! Isn't that Arwen's man?" Eden questioned in horror as she watched Fiorelle attempt to drape herself over Aragorn.

"Wait, isn't that MY FUTURE man?" Destiny raged as she watched as Quiana all but dry humped Legolas in her attempts for him to notice her.

Both men looked weirded out and slightly annoyed at the two women. Legolas looked mentally scared and Aragorn looked like he was in severe pain.

"Yes, that is my man, as you put it." Arwen said from behind them, the girls whirled around and tried their hardest not to let their jaws drop because, ladies and gentlemen, Arwen was prettier than any Mary-Sue. And it was all a hundred percent natural beauty.

"Well, we'll hold her down and you can go at her with a poker. I hear it does wonders for your nerves." Eden said gleefully.

Destiny smiled evilly and rubbed her hands together. "Let's get the red-head to, just for fun."

Arwen smiled "Nay, it would not be a fair fight. But I shall keep your suggestion in mind," she turned back to watching Fiorelle.

Then Angrod and Amras walked over to them, disgusted looks on their faces.

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Are you okay? You both look like you're in some serious pain!" Eden said as she circled them, fluttering her hands about, attempting to find out what was wrong with them.

"It is nothing," Amras said as he sat down on a nearby stone bench, "but the headache we received in the short amount of time we were forced out of hospitality to spend with your horrid companions."

"Poor dear," Destiny cooed, "Man up! . . . Or is it Elf up? Im not very good with these kinds of things."

Angrod could not stop laughing, until Lord Elrond appeared and he was forced to Escort Arwen out with Amras.

Lord Elrond stood in front of a strategically placed chair and addressed the growing crowd of people Eden and Destiny had completely ignored.

They rushed to their seats behind Fiorelle and Quiana and promptly began to ignore everything Elrond had to say.

"Look at his eyebrow,"

"How does he do that?"

"I don't know, but I wanna learn,"

"Bet you all my money it's an Elf thing,"

"I don't think American money counts around here, plus we're in different clothes. You have no money!"

"You know what I just figured out?"

"What? That both Angrod and Amras are blonde? What?"

"That all Elves have super-sensitive hearing."

At that Eden looked around. They were surrounded by elves. "So that means. . . "

Destiny nodded her head. "They heard everything."

"Dam."

"I know,"

They turned back to the Council, attempting to look as if they hadn't been betting on the coolness of Elrond's arch-able eyebrows.

"Have you not heard Lord Elrond? The Ring must be destroyed."

"Yeah Leggy boy, you tell him!" Destiny whispered.

"Oh, and I suppose you think you're the one to do it?" Gimli yelled back.

And then all chaos broke loose. Everyone was fighting everyone, well the Sues had attempted to put in some input but they were ignored. Eden and Destiny were sitting back in their chairs hoping Gimli would lose it and jump Legolas, just to see how that would turn out.

"I will take it!"

Frodo wasn't heard over the noise and the girls didn't bother. They didn't like Frodo all that much. They liked his hair, but not him.

He tries to be heard again. "I will take it!"

Silence.

Frodo continues. "I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way."

Gandalf walks over to Frodo, puts his hand on his shoulder. "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, for as long as it is yours to bear."

"If by my life, or death, I can protect you, I will." Aragorn knelt in front of Frodo. "You have my sword."

"And my bow."

"And my axe."

"Do you think Gimli will let me borrow his axe?" Eden asked hopefully. Destiny turned and stared at her friend like she'd grown two extra heads. Eden sighed "I'd thought not."

Then Boromir stepped forward, and Eden forced herself not to glomp on him. He was her favorite character in this entire thing! Besides Gimli. Also, the fact that Destiny had a hand on her to restrain her was stopping her as well. "You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is truly the will of the council, Gondor will see it done."

Sam, who, in Eden's opinion, had a great sense of dramatic timing, burst out of the bushes. "Hey, now, Mr. Frodo's not goin' anywhere without me."

Elrond frowned. "Indeed, it is hardly possible to separate the two of you."

"Oi, we're comin' to!" Merry and Pippin come running out to stand with Frodo. "You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!"

Elrond glared at them.

Fiorelle and Quiana stand up. They both grab Destiny and Eden's arms and force them to stand up with them.

"Besides, you need people of intelligence on this mission...quest...thing!" Pippin Continued stubbornly.

Merry turned and looked at his best friend, "Well, that rules you out, Pip."

The Sues drag the girls forward with them. "We, the Ladies of Elsewhere, wish to add our skills as well."

Eden and Destiny again share 'WTF' looks. Skills? What skills? Sues never have skills that would be useful.

Elrond smiles at them. "Very well. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

"Great!" says Pippin. "Where are we going?"

"Oh shit," Destiny muttered. And Legolas turns and stares.

"Dude, Legolas is like trying to bore holes into your head, I don't think he likes cursing." Eden whispered conspiringly to her friend, who trying very hard not to stare back.

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><p>Eden didn't know how much time had passed since they had been in that council, but she was free and on a mission, tugging a pissed of Destiny behind her.<p>

"Dude im a sprinter! I don't do long distance!" she moaned as she struggled to keep from triping.

Eden remained oblivious as she ran down the hallway, "Amras! Angrod!"

the two guards stoped walking and turned around, just in time for Eden to fall into them, taking Destiny with her.

"Ow! My butt!" Destiny moaned as she stood up, rubbing said area.

"Ow my body, which you smooshed!" Eden complained as she dusted herself off. "where did The Blondies go?"

". . . h-here,"

Destiny and Eden turned and looked down to see two squashed Elves. before shrugging and walking off.

"Arn't ya'll supposed to be like magically strong or somthing?"

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><p><strong>review!<strong>


	6. training, walking, and ABC's

Training.

Day 23.

"It's too early for this mess!" Eden screamed at the sky, "By the Valar have mercy on my soul!"

She dodged another attack, and swung up her staff to block, barely holding it back before she kicked her opponent in the stomach and placed one of its bladed edges at their neck.

"I win! Oh my golly goodness! Look at this! I wooon, I wooon, I w-w-w-wooon!" Eden dropped her staff and proceeded to cabbage patch on the training grounds, ignoring Amras as he stood and brushed the dirt of his pants.

"Yes, yes we understand, now please desist with your gloating." Amras said bitterly while Eden continued to cabbage patch.

"I WIN! OH MY GOLLY GOODNESS! LOOK AT THIS! I WOOOON, I WOOON, I W-W-W-WOOON!" a voice screamed out.

"HEY DESTINY! DID YOU FINALLY BEAT YOUR TRAINER ELF TO?" Eden screamed in the direction of the voice.

"YES I DIID! I FEEL ALIVE!"

"ME TO! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?"

"YES, YES IT IS!"

"Excuse me, but, ladies? You are right next to each other, no need to shout." Angrod said with a wince, their voices still ringing in his ears.

Destiny and Eden looked at each other, shrugged, then high-fived each other and began to victory cabbage patch once more.

The Next Day:

"This is depressing, if it weren't for the wild call of the unknown and the sweet promise of adventure-" Destiny began

"-Don't forget the fact that the Mary-Sues will take over their lives and force Aragorn and Legolas into horrible, loveless marriages!" Eden cut in as she helped pack blankets.

"And that," Destiny admitted. "If it were not for these things I believe it would be for the best if we stayed here."

"Despite the fact that we are a part of the plot, like the Sues we don't wanna be, and us not being there could kill us all and destroy the fellowship. Plus, I really wanna save Boromir." Eden added as she tied her cloak around her and moved her hair out of her face.

"Way to stick to the plot, Ed" Destiny grumbled as she opened their bedroom door. Their friends were waiting.

Come along now little humans," Angrod said as he and Amras walked them down the hall, "your Fellowship is waiting."

"Oh my goodness!" Eden screamed, stopping in her tracks. Every one turned and looked back at her.

"I never made any attempts to get to know any of them! It'll be like im walking to doom with strangers!" she moaned.

"Oh Eddie, don't you see? We'll make friends! Plus, if it counts for anything, you've got me," Destiny said before dragging Eden forward.

"That's better," Eden said, brightening, before skipping down the hall ahead of them.

"May the term, bipolar, be taken into account here?" Amras asked as the rest laughed.

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><p>"<em>ABC, Easy as one, two, three, or simple as Do re mi, ABC, one, two, three, baby, you and me! Come on; let me love you just a little bit! Come on; let me love you just a little bit! I'm a going to teach how to sing it out!<em>"

"Desist! Your racket!" Quiana screamed at Eden. They had been walking for a good week and a half now and Eden had shown the world that when she was bored, she sang.

Michael Jackson, David Bowie, and Disney.

"Buzz off!" Destiny barked before curtsying low and saying as mockingly as she could, "My lady,"

The Sue sniffed before flouncing off to torment Legolas.

Pippin watched Quiana walk away with a strange mix of awe, disgust, and horror "it's quiet amazing how awful she can be," he whispered to the girls.

"Quite," Merry agreed wholeheartedly. "I-I quite liked your singing Eden," he said looking down.

Eden cooed "Aww thanks guys, do you want me to teach it to you?" She smirked evilly in Quiana's direction as the Hobbits said yes eagerly. Little red-headed bitch was going down.

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><p><strong>alrighty, i wanna thank ladybug213 for favoriting! and . . . thats it. -_- meh, tough crowd.<strong>

**review my little monsters!**


	7. Underground

**disclaimer: half the fanfics on this site would be mini movies by now if I owned Lord of the Rings.**

**kay kay, so now I give you the suffering of Quiana! **

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><p>Quiana's POV (sorta kinda):<p>

Quiana was pissed.

How dare those little, little _slugs_ believe they were better than her and Fiorelle?! And then the White-haired one kept _singing _and she wouldn't stop! The little wretch also dared to teach those little people her song as well! The complete and utter disregard for her meaningful flounce away was inexcusable! And her little friend, all ways talking to her Legolas, how dare she ignore the rights of the claim she had laid down upon him in the very beginning!

She turned and looked at Fiorelle, who was telling Aragorn the delightful story of the time they had gone swimming in this big beautiful ocean. Quiana noticed with a cool air of approval that her best-friend-practically-sister's voice had just the right amount of light to it that she sounded like a cooing bird, her head was tilted at just the right angle so that the light hit her curls and caused them to glow. Her eyes (that Quiana herself had helped train) held just the right amount of expressiveness, with a hint of wisdom and childlike innocence. Quiana smiled, her friend was killer.

"_No one can blame you,  
>for walking away,<br>too much rejection,  
>No love injection"<br>_

Quiana looked up to see that her infernal little helper was singing once again. As she worked her face into a look of irritation she wondered idly who was singing this horrible little song now. It did not sound like the Michel Jason she was forced to surrender her lovely ear drums to.

"_Life can't be easy, It's not always swell,"_

Quiana watched with a sinking dread one sang her way up to her. She watched as her maid planted herself in front of her.

"_Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl"  
><em>

Quiana watched her waggle her grimy little fingers in a 'shame on you' manner in her exquisite face before turning to that little man with the horrendous little braids in his beard.

"_Cause it hurts like hell,  
>But down in the underground,<br>You'll find someone true,  
>Down in the underground,<br>A land serene,  
>A crystal moon, ah, ah"<em>

Quiana watched, as Eden danced around Fiorelle before dancing over to the even littler people.

"_It's only forever  
>not long at all<br>lost and lonely  
>that's underground<br>underground"_

She ran over to her little devil of a companion and they began to sing together, harmonizing as well as a non Mary Sue could.

"_Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
>Ha ha I'm underground<br>Heard about a place today  
>Nothing ever hurts again<br>Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
>Ah ha I'm underground<br>Sister Sister, please take me down  
>Ah ah I'm underground<br>Daddy, daddy, get me out of here"_

Quiana flipped back her hair making it float through the gentle breeze, before giving Legolas a secretive smile. But her didn't respond, he was busy sharing an inside friendship smile with the dirty haired man! She fumed.

"_No one can blame you  
>For walking away<br>Too much rejection  
>No love injection"<em>

Then, to her utmost horror, the even littler people joined in. what where those terrible little people again? Hobbens? Hobiteses?

_"But down in the underground  
>You'll find someone true<br>Down in the underground  
>A land serene<br>A crystal moon, ah, ah_

_It's only_  
><em>It's only forever<em>  
><em>It's not long at all<em>  
><em>The lost and the lonely<em>  
><em>That's underground<em>

_Underground_  
><em>Daddy, daddy, get me out of here<em>  
><em>Heard about a place today<em>  
><em>Nothing ever hurts again<em>  
><em>Daddy, daddy, get me out of here<em>  
><em>Ha ha I'm underground<em>  
><em>Sister, sister, please take me down<em>  
><em>Ah ha I'm underground<em>  
><em>Daddy, daddy, get me out"<em>

Quiana's blood ran cold as the other man began to sing, along with the 'Braids for a Beard' man.

_"Wanna live underground_  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>  
><em>Wanna live underground<em>

_Daddy, daddy, get me out of here_  
><em>Ah ha I'm underground"<em>

She was absolutely certain that her beloved Sister-Friend had internally died when Aragorn began to sing as well. She looked over at Legolas, praying to her Grand High Queen that he wouldn't . . . that he hadn't . . . . He had.

_"Sister sister please take me down  
>Ah ha I'm underground<br>Ah ha I'm underground  
>Ah ha I'm underground<br>Daddy Daddy please  
>Daddy Daddy please<br>Wanna live underground  
>Wanna live underground<br>Wanna live underground  
>Sister sister take take me down<br>Sister sister take take me down"_

And she died inside as well. She looked over at Fiorelle, and they began to scream, long and very loud.

. . . Until her beloved bade them in soothing tones to quiet down.

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><p><strong>Thank you, thank you, thank you HorseLover130! I really appreciate that you reviewed! I'm trying as hard as i can to get these chapters coming!<strong>


	8. insert humerous chapter title here

**Disclaimer: A group of my friends and I were looking at the Serial Killer lists on Google and we found one that looked like Samwise Gamgee. It wasn't a funny list to find him on, but we laughed till we cried andd the thought of Sam giggling like a maniac at a bloody Frodo that had been smooshed by his frying pan has never left us. They also like to laugh when I tell them that I've bought the rights to The Lord of the Rings.**

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

Destiny sighed relief when Legolas told them, in the most polite, strained voice she knew, to shut up. She looked at Eden, who was bowing and curtsying while Boromir, Gimli, and the Hobbits clapped. Destiny smiled, Eden's plan was successful. Each Mary-Sue looked like they were contemplating suicide which, in Destiny's opinion, wouldn't be a bad thing. Sure there would be the trouble of stopping to get rid of the bodies, but other than that. . .

Destiny looked back at Eden; her disturbingly white was still a glowing kind of clean despite all the walking and lack of bathing that had been taking place. Destiny was looked around at all the trees, and wondering if Aragorn would mind boosting her up so she could pretend to be a monkey when Sam pointed at a weird cloud and asked what it was.

"That, my dear little friend is an Altostratus cloud," She said with as much authority she could muster while holding one finger up in the air.

"Actually, it's moving against the wind," Boromir pointed out before slyly moving out of range of Destiny's how-dare-you-go-against-my-word glare.

Legolas looked hard at the wisp before crying out. "Crebain from Dunland!"

Eden looked up from teaching the hobbits _Thriller_, "So it's not an Altostratus cloud?"

Aragorn yelled out. "Hide!"

Sam doused the fire; everyone grabbed their gear and executed perfect rolls to the underneath of rocks and bushes. The Sues stood in the open awkwardly; looking at the dirt on the ground in a way that told everyone there that they'd rather take their chances with the Crebain then get dirty.

Eden grinned at them, before pulling them out of the open."Quick my ladies, before they let lose their droppings of Dunland Doom!" She curtsied over and over again, but kept the right amount of innocence in her face. Fiorelle glared at her, hate apparent in her eyes.

"The passage south is being watched," Gandalf said. "We must take the path of Caradhras."

"Dam" Everyone turned and looked back at Destiny and Eden. Who looked at each other before turning and saying apologetically to the group.

"We really hate heights."

Fiorelle, swayed towards them. "You poor darlings," she cooed, as she wrapped her arms around them in a sisterly fashion. "Do you wish to head back? No one here would blame you if you choose to head back now, it is your life, not ours that you are putting at stake" She straightened and looked as if what she had said was the hardest thing she'd ever done, as if telling them to leave was cutting her through.

Eden laughed, while Destiny held her up, trying not to laugh as well. "Are you nuts?" Destiny wheezed "you honestly expect me to back out of this? This chance of a journey of a life time?"

Eden fixed her clothes, and mockingly bowed to The Sues, "With all due respect, my ladies. But what, pray tell, would you do without out us? And more importantly, how could you?" She straitened and linked arms with Destiny and walked to stand by Gandalf. "Well lead the way, Gandalf the Grey," She gestured wildly toward the open road with her free arm.

"You made a rhyme!" Destiny giggled as they started moving.

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><p>When they reached the mountains a week later the weather seemed to reflect on The Sues moods towards Eden and Destiny, cold and harsh. The women walked around them, muttering insults under their breath, stupidly oblivious to Legolas's super Elf hearing. All of them shivered as they toiled up the mountain.<p>

Just then, Frodo slipped, and went tumbling down the slope. Aragorn caught him, and pulled him to his feet, purposefully ignoring Fiorelle's praise to his 'big strong Manly-Man muscles' while the girls' watched in dismay as Boromir picked up the ring.

"Crap. We can't interfere, can't interfere, and can't interfere. We gotta let this play out. This isn't our story." Destiny whispered to Eden before Quiana came up on the other side and whispered "He is going to die and you cannot stop it."

"Argh! Fuck! You know what? Fuck it. Fuck you! Wait, I take that back, I wouldn't touch you with a 35 and a half inch pole you STD ridden whore!" Eden whispered back angerly, causing Quiana to smarten up and run back over to Fiorelle.

"Boromir," Aragorn says sharply, and Boromir smiled nervously and handed the ring back to Frodo. "Take it, I care not," he says, and walks by, ruffling Frodo's hair as he goes. Eden patted his arm as he walked by.

"You're stronger than It, don't let it control you." She said softly

"I hope your warm enough!" called Quiana as she fake chattered her teeth. Being a Sue meant that she didn't feel the cold, because she was a already below freezing on the inside. Destiny looked at her friend with a 'they-are-so-going-to-die' face as she patted Bill the pony on the nose. The hobbit pony blew into her face as if to say, 'I hope so to'. "I agree Bill, those girls are going to get buried in crap, and I'm going to Cabbage Patch on top of them." The horse blew again, as if he agreed with her.

"So I see you've taking a liking to Bill, Ms. Destiny," Sam had noticed how attached the woman was to the animal, "He's quite a fine pony. Did you have a horse back in Elsewhere?"

Fiorelle answered for her, coming around a snow bank at the speed of light. "No, she did not have a horse, we lived in the city, but they did have horse drawn carriages. To be honest, she is quite terrified of horses," she giggled and patted Destiny on the arm before skipping off.

Destiny had the sudden urge to brain her with a snowball filled with rocks. She turned back to the Hobbit."Actually I find Bill a kind of nice all the way up here. He's so pretty." She said to him.

Suddenly a large gust of wind blew more snow at the group, more snow than natural in fact and a voice could be heard echoing off the mountains. The hobbits soon began to get lost, and Boromir and Aragorn had to carry Pippin and Merry while Frodo and Sam rode on Bill.

Before long a large amount of snow fell on top of everybody. Eden was lucky and could break through quickly and then she began to search for Destiny. She found her, and tugged on her until she was up on top of the snow.

"I," Destiny whispered softly, slowly gaining volume "Hate snow!"

"You're alive!" Eden said happily, "It's alright, see? I'm gonna go find Gimli with the help of the bloody Elf." She stared darkly at the Elf who was running on top of the snow, not leaving a dent.

"Okay," Destiny said and then she made Eden help her up.

They walked through the snow until they found him, legs sticking out of the snow, wriggling like mad. They giggled and then began to tug. Before long, he was free.

"Eh, lass," Gimli yelled over the wind, "I was alright! I did not need any aid!" The dwarf tried to stand up on his own and he fell back into the snow.

"And that, children, is what we call an Epic fail," Destiny said to Eden, who was trying so hard not to laugh and failing miserably.

Gimli Stewed about it before finally giving in, "Okay lassie, my arse is cold, get me out." Destiny threw her head back and laughed with Eden. They leaned in and yanked their little dwarf out of the snow, sending them all sprawling and Gimli into The Sues.

"IIIEEEEEEEEE! WWWWEEEEETTT!" The Sues screamed in horror as they scrambled to stand back up, ignoring Gimli's stuttered apologies and attempts to help them.

Meanwhile, Legolas was still walking on top of the snow, laughing whole heartedly as Pippin sunk into the snow. He grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

"Here," Destiny said leaning down, "Get on his back, he'll carry your little Hobbit ass out of here."

"But I shan't!" Pippin exclaimed, "If anything I should be quite able to handle myself, thank you!"

He fell to the same path as Gimli. Quite literally. "IIIEEEEEEEEE! WWWWEEEEETTT!" The Sues screamed once more as they failed in their attempts to avoid the snow they had been tramping through for days.

"I am not the little hobbit!" Legolas laughed, "I am, at the least, taller than four feet! Come on now!" The hobbit sighed and scrambled on his back. Aragorn gave a smile to them as he set Merry down beside Bill, who still had Frodo and Sam riding him. Eden set the dwarf down next to the wizard, her best friend and pony.

"Well, ring-bearer, it's your decision. Where do we go know? This mountain is gonna squish us cause Scary man is trying to kill us." Eden said conversationally, stealing Gandalf's line because she could, as The Sues squelched their way over. Eden hoped the little trolls were warm now.

Frodo looked off into the distance, looking as if he were about to cry, before staring at Gandalf's shoulder while he fingered the ring. Destiny wanted to brain him now to.

"We shall head for the mines of Moria,"

Gandalf sighed, "So be it." And began to lead them down the mountain. Eden and Destiny walked near the rear of the procession giggling.

"' This mountain is gonna squish us cause Scary man is trying to kill us.' Kinda rhymes!"

"I know right? I am on fire this month!"

Eden then scooped up some snow and, molded it into a ball and proceeded to chuck it at legolas. Who was not paying attention and got knocked face first into the snow.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING PERFECT! WALKING ON TOP OF THE DAMN SNOW WHILE WE GOTTA TRUDGE THROUGH IT! BLOODY ELF!"

For years to come, Gimli never let him live this moment down.

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><p><strong>yup yup. so what do y'all think? you can tell me by reviewing!<strong>

**also, thank you Mab for reviewing! and i will try my hardest to work him in! i swears!**

**and there is a poll on my profile if all you people reading and not review wanna see it**


	9. He owes me money, FOOL!

**HAPPY SINGLES AWARNESS MONTH! :D -dam does Febuary make me feel lonely with all that bloody PDA-**

**[Insert Disclaimer here]**

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

It wasn't long until they were at the entrance of the Moria and Legolas was not even looking at Eden, he did talk to Destiny though, which made her day. So Eden talked to Boromir instead. He actually had a lot of things to talk about. His life growing up, his Brother. . .

Sam was looking sad. Aragorn had told him that Bill couldn't come.

"Mines are no place for a pony Sam, especially not this mine. It would not be wise to lead an animal such as _that_ in with us" Fiorelle said in what we hope was a soothing manner, but everyone heard her emphasis on what she thought of Bill.

"Don't worry about it Sammy, he'll find his way to Rivendell Sam. He's a smart pony." Destiny said soothingly.

"I suppose so, bye-bye Bill." He said as Aragorn pushed the pony on his way.

Eden didn't want to steal Frodo's one shot at appearing smart so she sat on a rock and took off her boots. Sitting cross-legged the others looked at her.

"This is no time to rest." Said Legolas.

"Holy Snapple!" She exclaimed "you said something to me! Not to Destiny but to me! Even if you did sound a tad bit uppity about it. And besides" She stretched out her arms and put them behind her head "It'll take them a wee bit to figure out how to get in. And Pippin!" she turned from the elf to the hobbit by the water. "Can you _Flippin STOP _throwing things in the god damn water!" Pippin flinched and wandered over to Merry looking sad. Eden felt sorry; she was never very good at subtle gestures.

Then, to Eden's horror, right before Frodo could guess the password The Sues stood up, and looked at each other in what Eden only assumed was their version of: Eureka!

Why, it's the Elvish word for friend!" Fiorelle giggled in delight while Quiana kicked Frodo in the shins, effectively silencing him.

Eden and Destiny were forced to physically restrain Sam from braining Quiana. Even though they wanted to let him, they weren't emotionally prepared to fake the amount of tears needed to make it look like they cared.

Grumbling bitterly they looked into the entrance hoping to get a look inside. They followed Gandalf who went in first with his little crystal light.

"This is the home of my cousin Balin, and they call it a mine, a _mine_!" Gimli boasted to everyone as they walked into the dark cave.

"This is no mine, it's a tomb." Said Boromir, looking around his feet. There were long dead dwarves scattered around.

"Creepy," Eden whispered, using this as a chance to shuffle over to Boromir and hold onto his arm under the guise that she wanted support. When, in reality, she just wanted to feel him muscles through his shirt.

Destiny hung back, far away from the mouth of the cave. Then the first tentacle came out and grabbed Frodo. "Great," She snapped "It has to be Frodo, The one that can't die if were gonna friggin survive this thing." then a tentacle grabbed Fiorelle. "Thank you God," She mouthed to the sky as the Kraken swung her around and about.

Destiny ran and grabbed Merry and Pippin while Eden accidently tripped Quiana so that she fell onto one of the dead Dwarf bodies. Her screams harmonized with Fiorelle's as Aragorn and Boromir ran to save the day.

"Well shit," Eden said conversationally to Destiny as they huddled a little ways from the entrance so to avoid the tentacles and future rock fall. "Frodo is gonna be squid chow . . . or is that an octopus like thing?"

"I don't know, but what I do now is that I will never eat calamari again." Destiny whispered as everyone jumped out of the way as Frodo, Fiorelle, Boromir, and Aragorn came in 5 seconds before the entrance collapsed.

"Eww, how could you eat it to begin with?"

"Very easily, as a matter of fact."

Gandalf looked around before turning to the rest of the group and stating, "This place in unknown to me," in a blunt, matter of fact voice.

"Well," Destiny said as she waltzed over to Gandalf. "I believe we should head in a general . . . that way direction," she waved in the right direction in a very vague, off sort of manner.

"How did you know that?" Gimli asked the woman.

"I'm a Destiny," She said, her face dead serious "We know _everything_."

They reached the grand entrance hall and suddenly Gimli rushed to a side room, light from the outside world shone in, haloing a tomb that the girls knew contained his cousin. The rest followed, glum yet wary expressions on their faces. Gandalf walked over and read the Dwarfish runes on the slab aloud to everyone. "Balin, Son of Fudin. Lord of Moria." Gimli rested his head against the slab, tears dripping down his face.

Near-by lay several skeletons, one grasping a leather bond book, which had been sliced open by a sword. Gandalf reached out and carefully removed the book from the deceased hands of the former dwarf. He opened to the last page and read, "We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taking the Bridge and the second hall. Frar and Loni and Nali fell there... The Watcher in the Water took Oin. We cannot get out. The end comes... drums, drums in the deep. They are coming."

Everybody was quiet until the echoing sound d of a carcass falling down a well scared the daylights out of everyone. "PIPPIN YOU DUMBSHIT!" Destiny yelled and at the same time Gandalf said, "Fool of a Took! Next time throw yourself in to save us from your stupidity."

"And I'll make a special case to help you when the time comes," Destiny said darkly, slowly advancing on the poor Hobbit.

Eden surged forward, "No! He owes me money!"

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><p><strong>Well, Fiorelle almost died (HURRAY), and they're in Moria prepared to kill Pippin if it weren't for the fact that he owed Eden money<strong>

**review if you feel like it, who cares about my little broken heart?**


	10. Piggies

**whoop-dee-doo another chapter for all of you out there in the world**

**Disclaimer: . . . . . . . .. . Oh! sorry I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. **

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><p>Then the drums started. Legolas immediately whiped out his bow. So did Fiorelle.<p>

"Oh, god, she's gonna wow us with her archery." Eden whispered as she gripped her staff.

"Does she even know how to use that thing?" Destiny whispered back as she twirled her staff like a baton. Both girls had decided to save the surprise of the retractable blades in their staffs till Amon Hen.

Aragorn and Boromir ran for the door. Boromir poked his head out, and a bunch of arrows almost took it off. He pulled his head back in. "They have a cave troll," he said, as if they were discussing the weather.

Legolas starts tossing Boromir and Aragorn weapons, and they started to barricade the door. Quiana drawed her sword and pulls around behind one of the pillars.

"That little cheese eating surrender monkey!" Destiny hissed as she watched Quiana hide.

Aragorn pushes the Hobbits back to stand behind Gandalf. Boromir grabbed Destiny and Eden and dragged them back with them. "Protect the Hobbits."

It was obviously an order and while it made Eden all hot (she loved dominant men) it scared the shit out Destiny so she made Eden get her rear in gear and prepared to fight to protect the Hobbits with her mighty staff/pole/stick of Doom.

The Orcs started to break through the door. Aragorn, Legolas, & Fiorelle opened fire. Though after a while it is obvious that Fiorelle couldn't shoot worth a dam and she ran to hide with Quiana. The Hobbits pulled out their short swords.

The doors broke open.

As wave after wave of Orcs com through the gate, Destiny and Eden tried their hardest not to die. Destiny spun away from the sword of one and Eden hit another over the head with her staff. It turned, snarling, and Destiny smacked it in the face. Once, twice, and it went down. Pippin then ran it through. His blade passed through its hip, and it screamed. Eden then cracked it upside the head and it went down like a bag of rocks. Pippin then stabbed it in the heart, then ran over and finished off the other one.

"I feel like im in one of those medieval adventure movies!" Eden squealed as she bashed another Orc in the face.

"Uh, Eddie? You ARE in a medieval adventure movie!" Destiny screeched as she hit an Orc in the nuts before smashing the other end of her staff into his temple.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabs Destiny and thrust her into a pillar. She spun around, expecting an Orc, but her staff made solid contact with Fiorelle's arm and she dropped her bow.

"Ow!" she cried, clutching her wounded arm. "Nigger!"*

"What? The racist bitch just expects us to lie down and die? Not fucking likely!" Eden said before swinging her staff around, clocking Fiorelle upside the head.

Then, to the joy of the fellowship, the cave troll came rushing in. Destiny ducked behind the pillar behind Legolas, and she let out a long string of curse words. Now, Eden is the curser, not Destiny, so Legolas had a mini seizure when he heard those words coming out of her mouth.

He glanced back at her, eyes wide, and she couldn't help but giggle. "Is their a problem, my Lord?" She asks sweetly as He shot an arrow through another Orc, hands moving faster than a humans ever could.

"Besides the approaching doom?" He let out a light laugh "I expect that kind of language from Angrod!"

" Well, then I learned from the best!" Destiny said, grinned at him, and then ran to go check on the Hobbits.

Legolas watched her go, idly killing Orcs that come to near. Her smile was strange to see amongst all the blood but he believed that he had never seen a prettier sight.

Destiny Joined Eden and Sam. Sam was holding his own, bashing Orcs left and right with his frying pan. "I think I'm getting' the hang of this!" he called, and smacked another one. Pippin and Merry are doing just fine. Eden winced as Boromir was thrown into the wall. Aragorn crashes a few minutes later.

And then the spear hit Frodo. There's a moment of stillness, and then rage. Merry and Pippin leap onto his back, stabbing frantically. The troll threw its head back, managing to peel Merry off, and then Legolas shot it in the throat. It died.

"Finally," Eden mutters. She looked around. Quiana was helping Fiorelle to her feet, shooting glares across the room at her. Eden shot her a cheeky smile before mock saluting her.

"I can't believe she hit me," Fiorelle whines. Behind her, Boromir mutters something about 'decapitation' and 'accidental death by horse' and 'rather sleep with a Warg.' He sends Aragorn a sympathetic look, which the Ranger simply shrugged off.

Everyone then hurries to Frodo's side While Aragorn goes on about how the spear would've skewered a wild boar. Eden leaned over near Boromir's ear "Well, here come two wild piggies now. Shall we try it?"

"I believe there is more to this Hobbit than meets the eye," Quiana says mysteriously, trying to smile despite the fact that she's being used as a human crutch.

Legolas takes her arm, and she shoots Destiny a triumphant look. "That looks to be a nasty wound, my lady. Are you sure you are well?" Quiana looked down at her arm and notices for the first time the thin gash on it.

She stands up straight and nods proudly, then winces. "I will be fine." She smiles stunningly at him. "I am quite strong."

Destiny walks over and pats Quiana on the head, "that's quite alright dear, most Men are."

"Cooked!" Eden yells, laughing her ass off.

Legolas looked amused. Boromir and Aragorn had hidden their faces in their hoods to avoid more humiliation on Quiana's part.

More drums.

"To the Bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf cries.

And they all turn and run as fast as they can.

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><p><strong>* Yes, Eden and Destiny are African American<strong>

**No, I did not mean any racial amnosity. I am African american if that helps any.**

**Yes, it was my intention to make The Sues racist**

**Yes, I believe in dancing wildly to a slow song**

**No, I did not mean grind**

**There is a button, called the Review button. It wants to be clicked so bad.**


	11. Running, Step aerobics, and Acrophobia

**Well this took some time, but you know, school and other junk. plus I kinda broke my hand so typing has been a pain in the ass. Anyway, here you go, enjoys!**

**Disclaimer: Do you honestly think I would be in my bed nursing a healing hand if I owned Lord of the Rings? Dudes honestly, I would have paid someone to type what I say down while relaxing on some private beach somewhere.**

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><p>Chap 11:<p>

So they are running from Orcs, running like their lives depend on it.

And running

And running

And running

And running

And running some more!

And running

And running

And running

And running.

Until the Orcs run away and a glowing appears in the distance.

"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asks, eyeing the red light.

Gandalf squeezes his eyes shut. "A Balrog. A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you! Run!"

"Have I mentioned that I really, really hate heights?" Eden gasped when Boromir nearly toppled over the ledge.

Gandalf grabs Aragorn's arm. "Lead them on, Aragorn!"

"Whoa, Gandalf! You got all touchy feely! All hands! You know we Narnians don't tolerate hands on the first date!" Destiny chortled as they ran.

"Destiny you complete idiot! That is totally and completely the wrong story!" Eden snapped between breathes as they continued to run.

When they reach the stairs Eden nearly fell, but Boromir grabbed her around the waist and hauled her back up. "Watch your step, Eden."

Quiana muttered something sarcastic about how it would be such a pity if Eden plummeted to her death. And Destiny kicked her in the shin and shot her one of those scary, piercing looks.

"Vile women," Sam muttered.

They raced down the stairs,

And more stairs

And more stairs

And even more stairs.

When they reached the Gap in the stairs Eden and Destiny froze. Then they began to shake their heads. "Oh, no. No way in hell. I'll take my chances with the Orcs." Destiny said, folding her arms in defiance as she backed away from the hole. "And my severe case of acrophobia – fear of heights you dummy" she said quickly to a confused Fiorelle "– forces me to include the Balrog." Eden added from behind Destiny.

Suddenly, Legolas grasped Destiny by the waist, and then and jumped over the hole with her. She went screaming obscenities.

And it wasn't until Boromir picked Eden up and chucked her over the hole while she screamed Fuck My Life at the top of her lungs, did Eden cross.

When she hit the ground on the other side, she stumbled, then fell on her ass, and only Destiny grabbing her by the collar of her cloak kept her from falling over and off the edge. "I did not promise to be your children's Godmother only to see you die now!" Destiny gasped as she pulled her friend up.

"Then Boromir should have fucking well left me over there!"

As Legolas started helping the rest of the Fellowship across, Boromir helped Destiny help Eden to her feet; they then stood and watched the rest of their group make gravity defying jumps to safety. And when everyone was safe on the other side they began to run.

"Gandalf!" Frodo suddenly yelled, terror stamped on his face.

They looked back to see Gandalf fighting the Balrog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" He roared as he brandished his staff.

Fiorelle leans over to whisper to them. "Hope this gives you nightmares, cause your next."

"Boy, are you gonna be surprised when he comes BACK, dumbass," Destiny hissed back.

"And besides, your face is the only real thing that wakes me up screaming! And NOT in a good way" Eden bit back, before Fiorelle raised her hand to smack her.

Boromir caught her wrist and hauled her back. "If you lay a hand on her again. . ." he threatens, clearly too angry to finish out his threat before grabbing Eden's arm who had Destiny's arm and hauling them over to stand by Aragorn.

"You'll both get yours," She hissed. And Destiny and Eden both fake begged for mercy.

Frodo let out another desperate cry, and both Boromir and the girls look towards the bridge. Where the bridge used to be, is Gandalf barely clinging to the ledge.

"Oh shit," Eden whispers in horror before pushing her face into Destiny's shoulder. "I don't wanna watch!" "And you think I do?" Destiny snapped before hiding in Eden's hair.

They both peeked.

Time seemed to freeze as Gandalf looked them, and then a grim resignation settled on his face."Fly, you fools!"

And then he fell.

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><p>The rest of the trip to the surface was quick, dark, and silent. Eden could feel the tears rolling down her face. She knew this was going to happen! But saving him would destroy them all and even though she knew he was coming back she still felt like crap.<p>

Hehe, a Rhyme.

Poor Sam and Pippin and Merry and Aragorn and Legolas and Boromir . . . oh! And poor Frodo.

"Get them up," Aragorn says softly, his voice sounding a bit dead.

Boromir wiped away his own tears and jumped to his feet. "Give them a moment, for pity's sake!"

Eden nodded softly in agreement, they needed this.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs! We must reach the woods of Lothlorien." There's a long pause. "Legolas, Boromir, Gimli, Get them up."

Eden watches as Aragorn glances back, and for once she can read the expression on his face. It was pain. At that she didn't quite believe the Hobbits were the only ones who needed a moment for their grief. Eden looked around and saw Destiny walk over to Legolas and begin to whisper something to him.

Boromir lightly touched her on the shoulder. "Come, Eden, we must go."

Eden sighed and slowly pulled herself to her feet. Boromir hooked a hand under her elbow to help her up. She smiled her thanks.

An odd look crossed his face, and he slowly brushed one hand across Eden's face before smoothing some hair behind her ear. Then he's gone, walking up by Aragorn.

Eden, with a big ass grin on her face turned to Destiny just in time to see Legolas run his fingers through her hair and walk away.

Destiny practically skipped over to Eden before producing an excellent poker face. "I shall not grin at Quiana. I'll be the mature one in this situation." She said with as much dignity she could muster.

Eden patted her back in sympathy. "But it is ever so hard, is it not?"

"So hard," Destiny said forlornly before giggling. "Hahahaha, 'so hard'"

They giggled halfway down the trail, their laughter little by little, brightening everyone's spirits.

Well almost everyone, there were two who didn't smile.

Not once.

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><p><strong>kay kay loves I would like to thank Dark Angel Arise for adding me to their story alerts. It means alot that you would bother to put up an alert for when my next chapter is up!<strong>

**and Review pretty please!**


	12. No one seems to remember his fireworks

**I am a horrible human being. I have no excuse for keeping all you lovely little readers (I know someone is out there reading this!) waiting. but I have recently joined spring track and my life has literally been eat, school, track, homework, sleep. It's been killing my creative flow, so here you go! I tried to make it a little longer than most of the past chapters!**

**Disclaimer: it's cruel and inhumane to repeatedly force people to remember that they don't own the copy rights to their favorite book, movie, play, etc., etc.**

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><p>"Oh my goodness, this place is like so totally like shiny it's like totally the shit!" Destiny giggled as she flipped her hair, kept one arm up and her hand angled. She smacked on invisible gum, making horrific chewing noises.<p>

"Like Totally!" Eden squealed as she mimicked Destiny almost exactly. "But you know what, like, sucks about this mess?"

"Whaaat?"

"There is like no service in these like woods and like yeah. It's, it's just unacceptable! You'd think that like big companies like Verizon and shit would like keep there like promises and like give us service wherever we like go!"

"Oh, my god, that is so like totally true!" Destiny giggled before dropping her hands and frowning in an attempt to massage her check muscles back to normal. "I win, pay me!"

"No, not fair! Completely and totally unfair! You didn't even try to look like the ditz she is!

"Then how about you both lose!" Gimli all about growled at them as they continued to bicker, "who are you mimicking anyway?"

". . . No one," Eden giggled cheerfully after shooting Fiorelle and Quiana dark, meaningful looks "No one at all . . ."

"This place is quite beautiful though" Destiny said thoughtfully as she looked around at all the trees, "its kinda, kinda. . . gah! i don't know, like-OMIGOD PONTY OBJECTS!"

They were surrounded by elves, with bows. Gimli muttered something about not being able to trust the prancing bastards. Legolas shot him a glare. "We should turn back!" Gimli calls forward.

"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood," says what seems to be the leader. "You cannot go back."

"Umm, creepy blonde head elf dude sir? If you don't really want us here why can't we leave? What the flip is the point of killing us? Because you know you got the hassle of disposing of all of the bodies," Eden said conversationally as she messed with her nails.

"And cleaning up the blood" Destiny interjected helpfully from behind her,

"Oh yes," Eden nodded "the blood. All the red would clash with these trees and it would be . . . Eww, just Eww"

The lead Elf gives them a distrustful look, and Destiny and Eden shoot him their biggest, loopiest grins.

"I believe these two are a bit addled," he says, staring at them incredulously.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Destiny snapped, eyes blazing. She was delightfully queer, NOT under any circumstances, addled.

One too many blows to the head," Quiana put in silkily as she smiled at Destiny evilly. Destiny rolled her eyes, the little betch had seen Legolas touch her face and hair back at the Exit of Moria, and she'd been nastier ever since.

"Yeah, and this is us caring about your input." Eden said sweetly as she scooted a ready-to-murder Destiny away from The Sue.

"Come," Leader Elf Guy says imperiously, "we must go."

"Excuse me, but what the HELL is your name?" Eden asked as they started walking.

He didn't respond

"Oh hell. This is going to bug me forever."

* * *

><p>Lothlorien was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. With the greenery, and the silver trees that Eden and Destiny were trying there hardest not to puke all over as they walked on the bridges from tree to tree.<p>

Aragorn touched their shoulders. "Kindly cease looking down. The speed at which you both are changing colors is making me nauseous."

"Sorry."

"My B'"

He shakes his head. They wince as his hair doesn't really move. Eden leans towards Destiny "God, all that slime must be like superglue."

After awhile they reached a pavilion like place where Celeborn and Galadriel where waiting.

Celeborn looks at them for a moment. "Where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him?"

Destiny looked at her best friend and had to smother a giggle at the look of mild surprise on her face. 'Cause if she truly knew her best friend she was thinking: Huh. THIS Celeborn doesn't sound stoned. Amazing.

"He fell," Legolas said softly. "Into shadow and flame. A Balrog of Morgoth."

Galadriel looks around at each of them. Celeborn continued to speak, though he looked saddened.

_'You and your comrade were not meant to be here, little one,'_ says the voice in Destiny's head. She felt mildly shocked, due to the fact that it was not one of the previous residents. Plus, Comrade? Really? where they hell where they? Russia?

_'And though you are not meant to be here, your work is not done. Remember that, and do not allow yourself to be distracted by what pleasures you find.' _

Destiny quickly tried to thrust the dirty thoughts that came with 'what pleasures you find' out of her brain. Her brain didn't listen.

_'Very young. And truly, you are charming when you are flustered.' _

Destiny resisted the urge to face palm.

Afterwards some Elves lead the fellowship to a little clearing like space. The fellowship was quiet as they set up, actually, they had been quiet since they had left Galadriel and Celeborn's presence. as if each person was lost in a web of their own thoughts.

Destiny laid out her blankets by Legolas and just sprawled out on her back, staring at the leaves overhead, allowing herself to be lost to the sweet sadness of the song the elves were singing.

"What do they say?" Merry asks.

Legolas turns and looks at him and smiles sadly. "I have not the heart to tell you. For me, the grief is still to near."

Destiny sneaked a glance at Quiana. She looked like she wanted to glomp the Elf but didn't quite dare.

"I bet they don't sing about his fireworks," Sam says sadly, straightening one corner of his blankets. "They're worthy a verse or two." He stands, clears his throat nervously, but his voice is strong and clear. "The finest rockets ever seen. They burst in stars of blue and green. Or after thunder, silver showers. Came falling like a rain of flowers…" He frowns, and lowers his head. "Oh, that doesn't do them justice by a long road."

Destiny smiled encouragingly and says "He would've loved it."

"She's right, Sam," Frodo agrees, his voice quiet. But then, it almost always is.

Eden sits up, "it was beautiful, sing it again Sam." He does and Eden sang along, ". . . Or after thunder, silver showers. . ."

Destiny closed her eyes.

". . . Came falling like a rain of flowers. . . "

She dreamed of fireworks and a pensive yet quietly happy old man dressed in gray.

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><p><strong>Aright ya'll! I would love to thank ProudMudblood42, and Fats AKA The Sue Killer for reviewing! <strong>

**ProudMudblood42: It is nice to find people who cannot stand the things, isn't it? and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying my story!**

**Fats AKA The Sue Killer: well I dunno if I'm a genius but thanks for saying so! And yeah, Destiny's her bestie, I just kind of based parts of her off of my friends and they're pretty violent. Im glad you're liking this!**

**And I would like to thank ProudMudblood42 for putting a story alert! **

**It means so much that you guys would bother to comment or put a reminder on when my next chap is out!**


	13. PolkaDotted Ducks

**Yeah, I know, I know. Im a Retched Monster forgetting all of my Beautiful readers! But seriously people I got Finals and SOL's and all of that crap and i was like: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! **

**but that behind me. Ive fixed things and here is your chapter! **

**Disclaimer: Im SOL (Shit Outta Luck) whenever I think of ever owning LOTR**

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><p>The next morning was a robin egg blue, not that the girls noticed, they were asleep. Dead asleep. So asleep that waking them up was dangerous to your health. Not that the fellowship knew that minor detail, the girls had always been up before them, eager to get the day started, but now that they were in Lothlorien and there was no real reason to rush the girls where fast asleep.<p>

Until Legolas decided to intervene. Now Legolas was actually a very smart elf so you would think he would've seen the signs of someone being a deeeeep sleeper in the girls. But somehow the sun had heated his hair and fried his brain, making him do very life threatening and stupid things.

Destiny rolled with the slight nudge to her back and flopped onto her tummy, snuggling down deeper into her blanket. Light Elvish laughter forced its way through the fog around her brain.

"Awaken, sleepy one. It is near to four hours past dawn. If you do not hurry, the Hobbits and Eden will have eaten all the food."

_I am going to kill whoever woke me up_, she thought darkly as she attempted to burrow even deeper into her blanket.

"D'nt w'nt f'd."

There's a long pause. "I beg your pardon?"

"Don't. Want. Food. Sleeep."

This is followed by an impatient sigh. "Destiny, cease this and awaken this instant."

Destiny pulled her head out from under her blanket and glared up at him. The sun made a halo of his pale hair, his skin glowed; his eyes were lit with delight at being amongst Elf-kind once more, and it made Destiny frown. He just looked so gorgeous and happy to be awake and moving that she wanted to hurt him with a spork.

"Legolas. Royalty or no, if you don't get the hell away from me and _**let me sleep**_, I'm going to have to hurt you."

In response to that, he sprawled out on his back on the ground next to her, hands folded behind his head and his eyes on the tree-canopy. "You're amusing in the mornings. Though I assume it is to do with the fair Lady Galadriel today."

She groaned and buried her head back under her blanket. "Damn you Elves."

Legolas laughed again.

* * *

><p>Destiny had no idea how long they'd been there. She guessed that dinner-time was almost here. She and Legolas had been sitting with their backs against the tree for a long time, just talking.<p>

Well, he'd telling stories about the history of Middle-Earth, and Destiny was listening.

Someone very lightly clears their throat from a few feet away. they both look up, startled.

It's Celeborn

They both got up and bowed.

"Prince Legolas. If you do not mind, I would like to borrow your companion for a moment," he says, his deep voice quiet.

Legolas glances at me, and bows once more. "Not at all, my Lord. I should rejoin the others." Destiny smiled at him as he left.

Lord Celeborn just looks at her for a long moment, as if quietly assessing her, and then gestures towards one of the paths. "Walk with me for a moment, child."

_Oh, boy_.

* * *

><p>They walked for about twenty minutes in complete silence. He hadn't spoken, and Destiny really didn't know what to say. She was kind of focusing on keeping up with him; the Elf took rather long strides, forcing Destiny to do a strange hop-step-skip-thing every two or three steps to keep in step with him.<p>

_What do you say to a powerful Elf-Lord who seeks you out to walk with him? _Destiny thought as she once again did a hop-step-skip-thing to help her keep in step with Celeborn. _Eden would know, she'd probably randomly start a conversation on how ducks were extremely important to the environmental balance of Middle-Earth. That or Polka Dots, Damn I really gotta be more like Eddie. How does she start conversations like those anyways? She just randomly spouts a topic and -_

"They'll see you and your companion dead if they can," he says suddenly.

Destiny made a face as she was jerked from her mental ramblings and forced to deal with an ugly truth. "I know."

"Your fate here is not decided, child. You should not be so glum."

She ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, but I have no idea how I'm going to survive."

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. "You both wish to save others, not merely survive. That is what makes you different than ...your companions."

"Those evil, evil . . . things? People? . . . I don't know what to call them really but, yeah." she glanced at him in turn. "I guess your Lady's not the only mind reader around these parts?"

Celeborn laughed at that. "My powers are many, but that is not among them. Quiana and Fiorelle seem to think that my Lady is the only power in these woods."

They enter a small series of rooms. As they approach the last one Destiny could her loud laughter. "But _honestly_! Polka-dotted ducks would possibly be the greatest things in existence! Just thing of the possibilities!"

Lady Galadriel smiles at Destiny and Lord Celeborn around her chuckles and rises as they enter, a happy Eden behind her. Destiny bowed uncomfortably while Celeborn goes to Galadriel and tenderly kissed her hand.

While Destiny was mentally squealing from the adorableness, Eden had a hash of different emotions on her face. Something between: Sooo cute! and God, gag me with a spoon.

Galadriel turned and gave Eden an amused look. The girl just shrugged as if to say: _I know, I know. I'__m just as funny as hell, aren't I._

"You had come close to despair last I saw you, child, and yet now there is a lightness to your step. Why is that?" She tilts her head and narrows her eyes at Destiny.

Celeborn coughed lightly, looking amused.

Destiny Looked everywhere but the questioning eyes of the Elves and her best friend. She was pretty sure shed be blushing if her skin wasn't so dark. "Um...Time with friends?"

Eden cracks up and Celeborn suddenly becomes very, very interested in the floor.. Galadriel touches his hair and smiles, leaning into his shoulder. He wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her temple. "Or perhaps is it love that brings color to your face?"

_If any more blood comes into my head, I'm going to have an aneurism_. Destiny realized as she stuttered "Um..."

"oooOooo! Dee-Dee's in looOoove!" Eden sings as she twirls and swayed her way over to her best friend's side. "Destiny and Legolas sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love then comes-" Eden stops singing between laughs and begins to just laugh, hard, at the mortification on Destiny's face.

Galadriel laughs and steps away from Celeborn, towards them. "Peace, child, I meant no offense. We have brought you here, rather as a test to see how powerful your bonds to the Fellowship are."

_Well..._Destiny paused to think about it. _Boromir, good friend, strong and honest and loyal...Hobbits, loyal, huggable, love love love...Aragorn...Legolas... _

Galadriel caught a particular thought that went with that last name and laughs.

"Argh!" Destiny buried her face in her hands. Eden stood there, kind of clueless and feeling a tad bit Fourth wheelish.

Galadriel kisses their cheeks and presses something into each of their hand. "Do not fear. You have more strength than you know, but you cannot give up on hope." She turned to Eden "same with you, young one. Also thank you on that. . . intriguing conversation on polka-dotted Ducks, I will look into the concept and talk it over with Celeborn,"

"Yes, my Lady." They chorused and Destiny wondered if it was hard to hear her through her hands.

"Do you a need a guide, or can you both find your own way back to the Fellowship?" she asks.

Destiny looked up and realized that she was looking over her shoulder at Celeborn.

_OK, this is the time where...We leave. Yup. Definitely._ "Um, we can find our own way. Thank you, my Lord, my Lady." Destiny bows, and turns to leave, dragging a star struck Eden behind her. She heard footsteps cross the floor, conversation in Elvish, and Galadriel's light laughter. She threw propriety to the wind and raced for the door.

Once outside and a few feet away Destiny slowed and began to leisurely stroll with Eden. "So how was your morning?" Destiny asked hoping to get rid of the awkwardness still hanging from their necessary escape just a few moments earlier

Eden clapped her hands like an eager five year old and began to animatedly tell the story of how the hobbits woke her up (the fellowship almost lost their hobbits), their desperate quest for food (Pippin almost died), and the nice walk she had had with Boromir after running into him while walking around aimlessly (she knew it was stupid an pointless to wake Destiny up before at least twelve.) And final Where Galadriel kidnapped her and warned her of dangers she already knew of before having an engaging and rather intellectual conversation on polka-dotted ducks and their impact on the Middle-Earthian environment.

"Do you think she was pulling my chain?" Eden asked a few moments later, after Destiny had soaked in her tale. "What she said about discussing my ducks with Lord Celeborn. Do you really think she's gonna tell 'im about 'em?

Destiny allowed herself a small smile, "Yes Eden, I believe they will discuss them in great depth."

* * *

><p>They somehow found their way back to the Fellowship Tree all on their own, without getting lost once. <em>Which in itself is a huge accomplishment<em>, Destiny mused as the approached. _God knows Eden and I are helpless without a good map or GPS system __and__ a tour guide._

Eden and Destiny share a look before collapsing at the bottom, in hysterical laughter.

Eden looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Boromir's concerned face looking down at her. "Are you all right Eden?"

Eden laughed even harder and threw her arms around him; hugging him as tight as she could. "We're all right, Boromir. We're really all right."

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><p><strong>weelll, there you goes! i would like to thank the following for putting up Story Alerts and Reviewing: <strong>

**iluvlotr: i shall keep up the good work, thank you!**

**dancinqueen18: yeah, grammar isnt my strong point, but i tried really hard with this chapter! **

**thank you so much for taking time to read this you guys! and for the people who read anyways and dont review, well. . . . review!**


	14. Rape whistles and formidable dwarves

**hey guys! here is the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: honestly, can't ya'll leave me alone about this thing? it's kind of depressing to have to repeatedly admit I dont own this**

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><p>Chap 14<p>

Eden didn't know how long they'd been in Lothlorien. In all honestly she'd lost count of the days, because there wasn't much difference between day and night, it really screwed with her sleep schedule. But then, she noted, it was affecting everyone as well.

Boromir was restless. Aragorn, stoic. Sam was being fussier. Merry & Pippin, hungry. Frodo angstier. Fiorelle was still trying to crawl into Aragorn's leggings. Quiana was still looking for Legolas. And Legolas and Gimli hadn't been seen in days. Legolas was spends all of his time, days and nights, out amongst his kin. Eden figured that Legolas got real lucky this time – he had a place to hide. Poor Aragorn had no place to go.

Meanwhile, Eden and Destiny had divided their time between sneaking off to practice with their double edged staves and hanging out with the Hobbits. And, Eden reminisced, there was this one time, during their first couple days there, that the rude Elf guy from the border, finished bathing to find his clothes missing.

But the girls had NOTHING to do with THAT.

She snickered.

Also, much to Eden's joy, Aragorn had bathed. His hair moves now. In breezes and when he shakes his head. Boromir followed his lead. Eden snorted, mon. They had to compete for everything – who could refuse the ring, who could last the longest on watch, who could stink the most. If the last one didn't irate her nose so much she would have found the whole ordeal rather amusing.

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><p>After God knows how long, Destiny was finally helping pack up all of their supplies into some of those gray boats. She was passing random packs to Boromir when Celeborn found her out to talk to her again.<p>

They stood by the edge of the forest. Destiny watched him curiously; he was watching Aragorn with narrowed eyes.

_Ooh, that's right. He's Arwen's grandfather. I forgot about that. _

Destiny was struggling to suppress the urge face palm when he turned to him and pressed two daggers into her hands. She studied them, they where light and plain, with a leather-bound hilts. She assumed one was for Eden

"I know my grandsons gave you others of this sort to defend yourself with."

Destiny didn't bother to ask how he figured it out. But she figured that all Elves had a kind of brain wave lengthy thing of sorts "Yes, my Lord."

Celeborn smiled at her. "It's always good to have a backup, Destiny." He pauses, and stares at her intently for a moment. "Be careful. 'Twould be a pity to lose a light such as yours and your companion, in this world or any other." He turned and left, making a beeline for Aragorn, pointedly ignoring the 'omgwtf?' expression plastered to Destiny's face.

Later that day, the fellowship stood before the Lady of the wood to receive their goodbye gifts, except for Destiny, Eden, Quiana, and Fiorelle. Destiny and Eden had already gotten theirs and the Mary Sues just didn't get anything.

The Lady approaches our heroines, and gently takes their hands in hers. Destiny and Eden bend their knees and heads before her in unison. She draws them back up, pressing a kiss to each forehead. "Have hope, children. Not all hope has deserted you." She smiles.

They bow again. "Thank you, my Lady." Destiny murmurs.

_OK,_ _is this Cryptic Day, or something? Is this some married-couple conspiracy to be as vague as possible?_

Galadriel smiled at her, tilting Destiny's face up to hers. _'Patience, child. Patience.'_ She darts a glance at Legolas, out of the corner of her eye, where he's admiring his new bow, then she glances back at Destiny, one eyebrow raised. _'Tell me, child, what is it you wanted to do to him? Something involving –'_

Destiny pressed a finger to her lips. "SHHH!"

She laughs, presses a kiss to her forehead, and moves on.

Eden watches her walk away before turning to destiny. "What did Celeborn give you earlier?" Destiny pressed a knife into Eden's hand

"That one's yours, don't cut yourself." Eden paused to slip the knife into her boot before pulling a thin wooden whistle out from under her shirt and holding it up for destiny to see.

"Look what Galadriel gave me! She said due to my innocent appearance and slightly vaccant expressions it would be necessary or something like that! Which, quite honestly is quite rude. my expressions are never. . ." Eden paused and looked at Destiny. Concerned, she asked, "Are you okay?"

". . . She gave you a rape whistle?"

"Well. . ." Eden looked down at her whistle, "Do rape whistles have tine little polka dotted ducks painted on them?"

* * *

><p>As Destiny helped Eden help Gimli pack and tie off the last of the packs on the dock, Fiorelle and Quiana came up behind them.<p>

"I think you should ride with US, handmaidens," Quiana said loudly. "You've neglected your duties long enough."

"OK, number one, we are not and never where and never will be your fucking handmaiden. Number two, my only 'duty' isn't to you. So piss off." Destiny snapped

The girls turned back to the packs. Quiana suck in a deep, angry breath.

"I think the lassies will be riding wi'h us," Gimli said firmly. Destiny looked up and really looked at Gimli for the first time. He was not very tall, but since she figured he was all muscle, and that he's as broad through the shoulders as he is tall. Yeah, she wouldn't mess with him either. That and the fact that he was leaning on an axe he spent an hour sharpening the night before.

Eden shot him a relieved smile. "Thank you, Gimli."

He leaned forward to whisper to them. "Tell ya the truth, lassies, I'm not real fond of them."

Destiny grinned at him. "That makes, what, ten of us?"

He laughed.

* * *

><p>As Destiny sat in a boat, completely surrounded by water she wondered why she had never mentioned that she couldn't swim? SO as she practiced NOT looking over the edge of the boat, she listened to Gimli rhapsodize about Galadriel's hair to Legolas.<p>

Destiny grinned at that fact, the look on Quiana's face made it worth anything coming her way. But then she realized what actually was coming her way

Amon Hen.

The place where are paths are going to change, where we're all going to go our separate ways. Merry and Pippin are going to be taken by Orcs, and Boromir was going to die.

She shivered, and felt a pang of guilt, she new instinctively that their duty here was to keep the story on track. Which meant no relationships or saving the doomed to die; she had tried so hard not to notice the growing bond between Eden and Boromir. She had to give the man credit, she supposed. He looked like nothing was different but Destiny noticed the lingering gazes and touches.

Destiny knew that Eden knew it to and was literally soaking it all up before the end. Destiny supposed that Eden would try to save Boromir anyway but Tolkien killed him for a reason, she guessed.

Eden on the other hand was throwing herself into these moments like Destiny had guessed. Placed in a canoe with Aragorn and Boromir she kept the peace by claiming all of Boromir's attention so that Aragorn could play leader. She watched as he laughed and showed her some of the fish swimming under the surface of the water, she wondered if he could feel their connection to and she decided then and there that she was going to change his fate. She was going to give everything she had and put it into saving him, because –to her at least- he was a life worth saving.

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><p><strong>ninjawithasharpswordgirl: I actually have alot of red-headed friends so I don't actually hate them and No your OC isn't automatically deemed a Mary Sue just because she might have red hair. I just figured decided that Eden would have this weird thing against one trait on my Sues and red hair just worked.<strong>

**Berianireth of Lorien: well here you go!**

**Fats AKA The Sue Killer: yeah. . .I swear grammar is going to come to life and strangle me some day, and they are leaving Lothlorien right now so. . .yeah. oh! I want to thank you for being one of my most re-reviewing reviewers! (say that 5 times fast!)**

**Sithlord8665: thank you for adding this to your favorites!**

**Alrighty loves! read and review or no cookies for you! - (it rhymes!)**


	15. Petition

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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	16. Amon Hen

**Well, long time no see! How is everybody? and how are most of you guys enjoying summer? I rather like mine, i mean on july 8 im of to COsta Rica for three weeks! so just add three weeks to the time it usually takes for me to update.**

**Yeah, thats gonna be a while. which is why i givee you my longest chapter yet! to make up for my upcoming dissapearance!**

**Disclaimer: don't have it~**

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><p>As they pushed the boats to shore- well, Fiorelle and Quiana didn't do shit and Eden and Destiny tried, but failed- Eden watched Boromir, watched him draw in on himself, then seemingly shake it off, almost literally. She walks down to his boat and reaches out to touch his arm. He practically jumped out of his skin.<p>

"Hey," Destiny says softly, glancing at the shore. Legolas was watching them.

Boromir followed her eyes. "He's been watching you often. I think you have an admirer."

"I know right! Isn't it adorable?" Eden gushed "but Shh, don't say that so loud. Quiana hates her enough as it is."

He shrugs it off. "The Elf wouldn't touch her with anything more than the tip of a blade. It's destiny who intrigues him."

Destiny shrugged. Because, honestly, she had bigger things to worry about than whether or not Legolas found her 'intriguing.' "It doesn't matter. We're more worried about you."

Boromir smiled at them, patting the hand on his arm, back to being distracted. He stood and draped an arm over Eden's shoulders. Destiny inwardly went 'Aww' over how cute it was. "Do not worry for me, Eden, Destiny. All is well."

Eden shook her head. "If you say so. Now, I'm gonna go avoid the bitches. If you need me, sing . . . Something, I dunno, as long as its cheery!"

He laughed at that. Eden smiled at him before dragging Destiny away for some exploration.

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><p>Boromir watched Eden leave, feeling a strange pang and tightening in his chest. He recognized it as loneliness and something more, yet still, something was not settling right with him. He allowed his mind to drift back a few weeks, what was the source of this restlessness? He had felt this way ever since... Ever since spending all that time with Eden while climbing down the mountain. He recalled the feel of her, from every time she had fallen and he had caught her. Her pressed against him, the smell of her hair. . .<p>

_No, _He thought, realizing what he was doing. _No, I can't be distracted. Not now. Especially not by her. _It was the Ring. It had been calling to him more insistently, promising everything he could ever want. It whispered to him while he slept, saying that if he took it, Gondor would be spared, Eden would be by his side. Everything would be perfect.

His conscious mind knew that the damn thing was wrong, but another part of him yearned for it, wanted to be powerful, wanted Eden to be amazed by him, to want him to.

He looked at her. He wondered when it had happened. Her beauty did not shine with bright colors, he understood, it was muted; harder to recognize, but it was there. It was in her confidence, her disposition, in her courage. She didn't wear the mask so many other women do, the mask that they thought people would want to look at. She was simply herself.

"Boromir?" Piped up Pippin

"Yes?" Answered Boromir

"Do you love Eden?" Boromir's head jerked up so fast it was a shock that he didn't get whiplash.

"What makes you say that?" He asked carefully.

"Well," Said Merry, "You've been staring at were she used to be, She walked into the woods a good ten minutes ago."

Boromir managed to get back to unloading the boats and ignored Pippin's questions of "Do you? It looks as if you do."

_What do I do? _He thought, numbly. _This can't continue. I have to stop this._

* * *

><p>"Argh! Who knew this was such a big geological area."<p>

"good job Eddie, you got us lost."

"I did no such thing! In fact I happen to have a great sense of direct-"

They walked into the campsite.

"Ha-ha! I found it! Bow before my amazingness!"

The entered on Gimli and Legolas being, well, Gimli and Legolas."Oh, yes? It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!" Said Gimli. Pippin and merry looked up at gimli, alarmed, as Eden and Destiny sat down. "Festering, stinking marshlands far as the eye can see."

**"**That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf."

"Recover my…?" Gimli growled.

_Whoa. Wait. A. Minute. _Eden glanced around their camp. "Shit!" She exclaimed and leapt to her feet. Two Sues, a Hobbit, and one gondorian man were missing.

Destiny jumped up, "what? What is it?"

Eden spazzed for a few seconds before, "They're gone Destiny. I'll find him you find _them"_

She ran off.

Destiny turns and notices the missing people for the first time.

_Oh, just...crap. Crap, crap_.

Legolas was suddenly at her side, touching her arm. "What's wrong?"

Destiny shook her head, very quickly, back and forth. "Nothing. Everything. I don't know. Shit."

This earned her an irritated sigh. "Very enlightening. Thank you."

She shook her head again. "I really, really don't know. If I knew, I would tell you."

Legolas cocks his head to the side. "Would you truly?"

"Yes!"She cried, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "Yes, I would. Yes."

He suddenly lets go of her arm and turns towards the woods, his bow already in his hands. "Something approaches."

_Oh, shit. _

She turned and ran. She raced through the woods, running aimlessly, trying to think of where those goddamn Sues could be when she trips.

Correction, when she's TRIPPED.

Fiorelle smirks down at her. "You should know better than to go against us, little fangirl." She raises her sword. "Now, you're gonna die."

Destiny curses under her breath and swings her staff for it to connect solidly with Fiorelle's cheek. As the Mary Sue screams in pain and clutches her cheek, dropping her sword, Destiny rolls out from underneath her and stands. And proceeds to nightstick her with her staff.

When she felt that she had spent enough time over indulging herself on Fiorelle's screams she kicked her in the shin and ran off. Ignoring the Blonde's feeble threats.

"I'll get you both for this! Just see if I don't! And then that Man you're so fond of will be MINE!"

_Honestly_, Destiny thought with a shake of her head. _You'd think people would come up with better shit to say. And besides I don't even like Aragorn like that, it would be creepy. like going for your gay younger brother creepy._

* * *

><p>Eden ran. As fast as her feet would move, she ran. She chose a direction at random. "Shit, fuck," She cursed, uttering every bad word she knew, condemning herself to a lifetime of pain for being such a freakin' idiot.<p>

She tore through the trees, heart thumping heavily in her chest. She stopped, breathing hard and listening for the sound of talking. The air was very still and it was distrustfully silent except for her own ragged breathing.

_There! _She thought triumphantly, as Boromir's voice echoed faintly through the trees. "... I ask only for the strength to defend my people! If you would but lend me the Ring-"

"No!" Cried Frodo.

She charged towards the source of the talking, adrenaline surging. The voices were closer. "Why do you recoil? I am no thief."

"You are not yourself."

"No, no, no!" She yelled, jumping over a log, she landed smack on it. "Ack!" she remained still, attempting to regain her breath and ease the sting in her abdomen before crawling up and over the rest of the log.

"What chance do you think you have? They will find you. They will take the Ring. And you will beg for death before the end! You fool!" Boromir shouted. She knew where they were now. "It is not yours save by unhappy chance! It could have been mine. It should be mine! Give it to me!"

She ran faster, harder. There more cries and more yells punched the air. "I see your mind. You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You go to your death, and to the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you and all the Halflings!"

She burst into the small clearing, out of breath and tummy still hurting. Boromir was on the ground, disorientated. "Frodo?" He called. "What have I done? Please, Frodo!"

"Boromir!" Eden said, staggering over to him. His eyes were still misty. She put her hands on his shoulders and shook. "Boromir!" She almost couldn't prevent the hysterical sob that nearly burst from her lips, but she stopped. The madness of the Ring left him and he lay dazed on the ground.

"Eden?" He whispered, like he couldn't bear to speak.

"Boromir, we have to go. I know that there are Orcs on the way and, and ..." She trailed off. Then hugged him fiercely.

He was taken aback, but after the initial surprise his arms went around her and he held her. She rested a cheek against the warm juncture between his neck and his shoulder. She heard the echo of his pulse and the scent of him was a mix of sweat and mint and leather.

He hesitantly slid his fingers beneath her chin, lifting her face. His eyes were steady and grey. She nearly broke down and told him what was to come.

Their gazes caught and locked. She felt as if she was pulled to him by forces that appeared beyond her control. It felt natural, as right as breathing, to lift her head, to meet her lips with his.

And that's where they have their first kiss. It is at the worst time imaginable and it's in the middle of a battle. It's full of salty skin and chapped lips but underneath that, Eden could feel all the pent up emotion. All the frustration, and the hunger and longing. She felt his soft exhalation against her mouth; relief, as if a great weight had been taken from him. His hand rose to cup her face. Her eyes fluttered shut.

They parted. "We shouldn't be doing this." He whispered. "It is not proper-"

He was cut off my Eden grabbing him and kissing him again. Her chest felt as if it was full of glitter and helium. This time, he didn't pull away. Time seemed to slow and, in that moment, nothing mattered to her any more.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. But it felt so right. So, so right. He broke away and their eyes locked. One of her hands reached out to stroke his cheek, his chin, stroking the stubble and tracing his mouth like she was trying to memorize it. She ran a hand through his hair, earning a shiver. His own hand ran down her spine, pulling up the hem of her shirt at the bottom to draw patterns into the skin.

No words were spoken. None were needed.

Snarls and the clang of swords brought Eden to her senses. She shook her head and remembered what they had to do. If they didn't save Merry and Pippin. . .

"Merry and Pippin." She said and managed to get to her feet and yank Boromir up with her. He seemed to grasp what was happening because he began to run as well and she clutched his hand, allowing him to drag her behind him.

* * *

><p>Again Destiny was running with no direction. This is why it came as such a shock when she almost bowled over Aragorn. He caught her by the arm and hauled her up, she brushes herself off and turns.<p>

_Aw, shit. _She thought, ducking a black sword just in time to avoid decapitation

"You should not be here," Aragorn yells, chopping an Orc in half.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," She yells back, ducking another sword and jabbing the Uruk-hai in the gut. "I've heard it all before, beautiful."

Destiny actually sees him mouth the word 'beautiful' as he continues to hack apart Orcs. It depressed her to think, that after all this time, he didn't find her funny.

Suddenly, one of the Orcs in front of her sprouts feathers from its forehead. Legolas grabs her arm and pulls her out of the way of another one.

Destiny gave him a short, grateful smile.

Then she hears it.

A high, shrilly whistle.

* * *

><p>Boromir raced ahead of Eden, she watched as he threw himself in front of the Hobbits and immediately began fighting. She begins to join the fight when she sees him. a Uruk-hai who was conveniently placed with his back to her, but was inconveniently preparing to take the first shot.<p>

She runs and takes a flying leap directly onto his back, one arm going around his neck and her legs clamping to his sides as her other hand presses the button on her staff to allow the blades on either end to pop out. She slams one end into the back of his neck just before his grabs her hair and throws her over his shoulder.

It was a pretty bad move for him. Seeing as Eden held onto her staff and as he through her the blade stuck in his neck slid through the rest of it, effectively slicing his head off.

Eden rushed to help Boromir, who's on the verge of being overwhelmed.

She goes to the nearest Orc at the back and twisted her staff, smashing one blade to his temple before slicing his throat open with the other.

Boromir spares Eden only a glance, then goes back to hacking apart an Orc. Then he turns and gives her a longer look, long enough for an Uruk to nearly plant a sword in his side. Eden opened up its gut with one end of her staff and its throat with the other.

Eden continued to fight, her whistle between her lips. But she couldn't see Merry and Pippin anymore, so she assumed that they had been carted off. She didn't see Destiny or Legolas or Gimli or Aragorn. Then she hears it. "ELENDIL!"

Aragorn.

_Fucking FINALLY._

All around them, Orcs start sprouting feathers and axes. Eden thought it was beautiful. She and Boromir exchange a grin, and then go back to hacking.

Then the unthinkable happens. Eden sees Boromir stagger out of the corner of her eye, a handful of arrows in his side.

He keeps fighting, one hand pressed to his side, until all the Orcs are dead, about ten minutes later.

Then he falls. And to Eden it seemed to happen in slow motion, Legolas and Aragorn raced to his side, Eden right on their heels. She clutches one of his hands while Aragorn and Legolas inspect the wounds.

"Is he . . .?" Eden really didn't want to know the answer. Aragorn's grim silence told her everything she needed to know. "No, no, no! Boromir don't! You can't! I love you! Don't-" she breaks down sobbing, Destiny soothingly rubs her shoulders. Tears dripping down her cheeks as well

The rest of the fellowship respectfully looked away.

"Don't . . . Cry, Boromir gasps, his chest heaving erratically "Please don't. . .Cry," he gripped Eden hand tighter as he coughed. "The ring . . . take it." he turned and began to say some final words to Aragorn. Eden didn't hear them though. She was looking down at the hand in hers; on its ring finger was a silver ring. The ring was nothing special to look at but Eden knew, she knew that it was his way of saying all that he would now never get a chance to.

She slid the ring onto her finger, and pressed a kiss onto the palm of his hand, a final goodbye.

Legolas broke the silence "This is no Orc arrow," he murmurs, looking closely at the arrows in Boromir's side. He looked at Eden, the answer unspoken between them

_Fiorelle_

"She's dead," Eden mutters, and Destiny is, but shouldn't be, surprised by the venom in her voice. She can see the smile on Eden's face, and it doesn't look like a happy one.

Eden starts walking

"Eddie," Destiny begins, but Legolas presses a hand to her arm.

"Nay, let her go," the Elf says, and the Dwarf grunts his agreement. By now, Aragorn is kneeling at Boromir's side, mourning. "She can take care of herself. If she says Fiorelle will die for this, then she will die for this."

"Good riddance," Gimli says, and Destiny can't help but agree.

* * *

><p>Eden didn't find Fiorelle, but she did find Quiana, pacing by a fallen statue. She spins around to face Eden, and then bares her teeth at her. Eden guessed that she was the one supposed to die.<p>

"Oh, that's attractive," Eden tell her, sarcastic. "Like a bitch dog bearing its teeth."

"You were supposed to DIE, you bitch," she hisses. And Eden cocks her head because, really, the chick sounded like some kind of damn demented snake. "You and that fucking Steward, you were both supposed to DIE."

Eden smiled at her, slowly, and gave the staff in her hands a little twirl. She realizes that Quiana doesn't no about the blades in her staff; she thinks all Eden has is a stick. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, since I'm alive and well." Eden starts to circle her.

She starts to turn as well, trying to keep her in sight. "I guess I don't know if you can say 'WELL', since my dear sister, did manage to do at least half the job. Good for her, don't you think?"

Eden shakes her head, not taking her eyes off of her. "Bad, for both of you, since it was one of her own arrows." Eden kept right on smiling. Ignoring her heart, which was screaming for blood. Blood that would avenge Boromir. "They know, both of them. All of them. Legolas and Aragorn have figured it out, Bitchzilla. If you go near them now, they'll kill you."

Quiana screamed and charged, holding up her sword. Eden stood there, very still, and just kept on smiling. Quiana didn't notice the blades that suddenly popped out of either side of the staff, until it was too late.

Eden swung her staff, cutting both of Quiana's hands off with one stroke. Before the Mary Sue could scream in shock Eden had twisted her staff and plunged the other side up to the hilt into her chest.

Quiana stared at Eden, eyes wide in disbelief. "It wasn't supposed to be this way," she says softly, her eyes filling with tears.

Eden shrugged and pulled out the blade from Quiana's chest. She was suddenly very, very tired. "That's too bad," She said softly. "Because this was never, still isn't, and won't ever be, your story."

She died, her eyes wide and full of tears.

Eden closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, "I really hate red heads" she muttered before staggering over to the nearest clump of bushes, and puking her guts up.

* * *

><p><strong>Now guys, your free to torch me for this, but let me get my reasons out! <strong>

**Boromir had to die. Its a part of the plot. and to me Mary Sues just seem to fuck with the plot. Tolkein wrote that Boromir had to die, if he didn't his daddy wouldn't go cucco. And we need that man to go crazy. I'm sure there is a way to save him and off his father but that was tampering with the plot that Tolkein had originally set.**

**Special Thanks to:**

**athenadaughter: thanks for adding this story to your favorites and Alerts and for adding me to your favorite Author and Alert! to add the petition just copy and paste it as the next chapter in one of your stories and add your name at the bottom!**

**Sithlord8665:thanks! and Mary Sues and Gary Sues are an Author's worse nightmare, it's even worse when you work your butt off and create one by accident.**


	17. I Got My Face Back!

**Hey you guys! whats up? how were your summers? mine was pretty nice, hung out with Costa Rican men, danced under the stars, completely forgot about this story. . . **

**yeah, that last one wasn't a good thing. so I churned this out before i start school tomorrow! yeah, my update time is about to get alot longer.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

Destiny watched Eden stagger back into camp, watched her sit and stare at the river. The one thing that didn't have Boromir on it. When it did, she didn't cry, not one drop.

She quietly asked why as they watched the waterfalls take his body from them, his soul long gone.

"Because he asked me not to." Eden said softly, eyes glued to where his boat used to be. "One of the last things he ever told me was 'Please don't cry'." She turned and Destiny was hit with the full force of the pain in her gaze. She might not be crying, but her soul was.

"Are you well enough to stand?" Destiny asks softly, right next to her ear. One of her hands running through her hair, trying to soothe her. Eden shakes her head fiercely, curling her hands into fists. Eden then jerked away from her, scrambled a few feet, and was then spectacularly sick in the bushes.

She could feel the blood oozing between her fingers.

She was also planning on never eating lembas bread again.

Legolas stood close behind Eden, one hand steady on her shoulder. Eden reached up and patted it, in an effort to reassure him that she was not going to throw up again.

"Where's Fiorelle?" Destiny asked, once she was sure her friend had a grip on her stomach.

Legolas shrugged, rising to his feet with a grace and ease that made Destiny want to punch him. "We have not seen her. Perhaps Quiana's death caused her to flee?"

Destiny shrugged and then noticed Legolas staring at her with narrowed eyes. "What?" She demanded, smoothing back her hair and wiping her face. "Is there something on my face?"

The Elf nods his head toward the river. "Look at yourself. You do not look the same."

Destiny huffed and then walked over to the river, "Don't know why the stupid Elf can't just tell me what's wrong with my-" She looked down.

Then sat down hard in the water, still staring. She was herself again.

Destiny studied the reflection. Her hair was still long and a deep blue-black, but she figured that was okay, it was pretty and actually very easy to deal with. What made her the happiest were the eyes. They were hers again, a warm Chocolate chip brown instead of glassy emerald green.

Legolas came over and crouched by her side. "You are still...you?"

Destiny nodded, grinning. "Yes, this is me. This is so me!" She turned back to the camp. "Eden come here! You have to see this!"

Eden came over and knelt to look into the water, she stared.

Destiny looked up and grinned at her. Eden falls.

Destiny frowned. "Come ON, people. It's not THAT drastic."

Aragorn slowly shook his head. "You are still you." It really wasn't a question.

Eden nodded, grinning at him. "Yeah, I'm still me. THIS is me. I guess..." She shrugged, turning back to the water. "I guess when Quiana kicked the bucket the magic that changed the way we look...it must've faded." They all looked at her incredulously, except Destiny. Destiny was nodding as if she understood. Eden looked back at them and passed a hand in front of her changed features. "Anybody else got an explanation?"

Legolas and Aragorn exchanged glances. "I know of no such magic," Aragorn said.

Legolas shrugs. "I do not know why they would do so."

Destiny shrugged. "Maybe they didn't want an ugly hand-maiden?"

Eden looked at Destiny, shocked. "So they did this to fuck with our self confidence? That's shitty."

Aragorn frowned at them. "I do not understand why you are so overjoyed at this change."

Destiny threw her hands up. "This is really, really me. The way I look. Do have any idea how long I've wanted to see this?"

"Same here!" Eden exclaimed. "There is absolutely no reason to go all suspicious-Ranger-guy on us!"

"Why would she lie?" Legolas demanded. "She hated them, and wanted free of them."

Aragorn then looked slightly sheepish ". . ."

Destiny and Eden looked at him "Now what?"

He looked away then back, "I beg for your forgiveness before hand, but, your skin, is it dyed or is that its natural tint?"

The girls stared. But then Destiny noticed the curious looks on Gimli and Legolas's faces, they had all wanted to know, since the beginning maybe, but hadn't said a word because it might anger them.

Destiny looked down at her skin and its dark tint, then at Eden. Eden met her gaze. She realized that Eden had come to the same conclusion.

"This is our natural skin tone," Eden said trying to smoother her giggles "It will always be like this no matter what we do."

They nodded, processing the information. Slotting it into its appropriate mental file.

Destiny pushed up off the ground, "I really appreciate that you asked and that you believe we're not lying. But don't we have bigger things to worry about? Or smaller, actually. Aren't we short a couple Hobbits?"

Aragorn looked into the woods "The Orcs took Merry & Pippin."

"It's not your fault. We would've gotten our asses kicked." Eden squeezed his arm. "What about Sam and Frodo?"

Legolas gestured across the river. "They have crossed over to the eastern bank. They travel to Mordor alone." He sent Aragorn a slightly angry look. "We should follow after them."

Eden nodded slowly. "But what about Merry and Pippin?"

Gimli spoke up "Aye, what of Merry and Pippin?"

Aragorn nods. "We cannot leave them with the Orcs. We shall not abandon them to torment and death." He clapped a hand to Legolas's shoulder. "Come. We hunt some Orcs."

They set off into the forest, all of them moving easily. And it wasn't until Destiny looked around that she realized that Eden wasn't next to her complaining about exercise. She looked back and saw Eden still by the river. "That idiot,"Destiny grumbled before shouting. "HURRY UP LAZY BUTT!"

Eden looked up and realized she was being ditched. She swore and tried to catch up. "YOU RHYMED!"

* * *

><p><strong>So eh, I wanna thank Mrs-ezio-auditore, Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity, ProudMudblood42, Shadow-Heart-of-Death, DecoraRae, and HarmonySoundown, for either Favoriting this story or me, reviewing, following or adding this story or me to your alerts. It really means alot you guys!<strong>

**Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity: **Thank you so much for taking the time to review on every chapter! It means alot to get your feed back. and don't worry, thats what I call the Mary Sues to

**ProudMudblood42: **Ikr? Im so excited i cant wait to find away to off Fiorelle! I have a plan for it but thats not until near the end of this story.


	18. Nightmares, Rohan, and a whiter Gandalf

**Hey all my beautiful readers? how is life treatin' ya? Personally if it werent for friends and the chance to earn some serious dough in a couple of years I would leave school! :) **

**Seriously though school is just pain. End of story. Le Disclaimer: I owneth this not. . . wee.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18<p>

Destiny watched the group; they had set up a camp. Legolas was keeping watch, and Gimli was already asleep. Aragorn looked to restless to sleep I'm too restless to sleep.

"We should keep moving," He said for about the tenth time.

Eden made a disgusted sound. "Are you trying to kill me, Aragorn?"

He frowned at her. "No, and you know this very well. I do not like to think of Merry and Pippin in danger."

Legolas frowned at him. "We cannot keep moving at all times. We do need rest." Eden made a protesting noise. Destiny found it hard to tell exactly why, since her friend's head was buried in her cloak. She smiled at that. "All of us, not just you, Eden. Get some sleep."

Destiny didn't know what woke her later. She heard a quiet cry of distress, and sat up. Eden seemed to be fighting off some invisible attacker. Destiny was at her side in a moment, gently grasping her hands and speaking to her, trying to send her back into sleep with gentle words. But Eden's eyes were open now, and she looks terrified.

"Do you want me to sing you a lullaby or something?" She whispers. Eden shakes her head. Destiny felt Eden's death grip on her hands, yet Destiny didn't dare say something about it.  
>Eden then tugged her hands free and wrapped her arms around her, Destiny moved her hands in soothing circles on her back, and realized Eden was crying.<p>

"I know he told me not to," Eden whispers into Destiny's neck, "But, they. . . They just won't stop falling. And then I keep seeing Mitanni's D-"

"Shh, Shh . . . It's okay now, your fine, you are going to be fine Eddie. I promise, I swear on the soul of Domingo Montoya."

As Eden laughed quiet, choked laughs, Destiny caught the eye of Legolas from across the clearing. He had been about to go to Eden but Destiny had gotten there first. She subtly shook her head, telling him that she'd take care of her. And that Eden would be embarrassed enough that her best friend saw her like this.

He nods in return and turned back to the night. And Destiny turned back to Eden, rocking her and cooing nonsense until she fell back asleep.

* * *

><p>Eden and Destiny were starting to seriously starting to hate being the only girls on this field trip. They saw how the men were slowing down for them so they had made it their goal to go faster and keep up and not ask for breaks.<p>

It was madness, but at least they now knew how to run and sleep at the same time.

Eden was nodding off when somebody grabbed her and threw her into a rock. When she looked up she noticed it was Aragon, she was seriously prepared to cuss him out when Legolas cut her off.

"Riders of Rohan," Legolas says softly. "One hundred and five. Armed with spears."

She and Destiny exchanged a glance. Destiny mouthed something that looked like the word 'wow.' But Eden didn't know, she sucked at charades.

Then Aragorn steps out and revealed himself and our hiding place and yells. "Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?"

"Um, are we sure we want them over here?" Eden asked softly.

But it was too late. They were surrounded. And Destiny was getting really tired of having the pointy end of ANTYHING pointed at her.

"What business have two men, an Elf, a Dwarf and women –" He spits out 'women' like it's a bad word – "Have in the Riddermark?"

Destiny shoots Eden a look, one that's says: Don't-you-DARE-make-any-comments-about-ghost ships-or-maggots-or-falling-through-deck-plates-or-anything-related-to-Julianna-Marguiles-Or-Hercules-or-Xena-and-I-do-not-ask-about-the-REAL-relationship-between-him-and-his-horse.

Eden wisely keeps her mouth shut. Besides, Gimli was gripping both of her arms; as if he was afraid she'll say something stupid.

"Give me your name, horse master, and I'll give you mine," Gimli said, glaring at him.

Eomer gets off his horse and draws his sword. "I would cut off your head, if it stood but higher from the ground."

"You would die before your stroke fell," Legolas snarls

Aragorn gently pushes Legolas's arrow aside. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn; this is Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas, of the Woodland Realm. And this is Eden and Destiny, other warriors joined on our quest."

Rough, masculine laughter greets this last comment. They didn't believe him.

Eden and Destiny wanted to suddenly rip out some spleens.

He kept on laughing, and Destiny wondered if He was a hero, or a masochist. She sincerely hoped it was the latter.

"We are friend of Rohan, and of Théoden, your King."

Eomer sighs, lowering his sword. "Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe." He pulls off his helmet. "Not even his own kin." Eomer frowns, looking at each of them in turn. "Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished. The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man, hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past our nets."

Aragorn spoke up. "We are not spies. We track a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends' captive."

Eomer started shaking his head before Aragorn even finished speaking. "The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them in the night."

Destiny felt Legolas go very still next to her, and she could feel her heart pounding. She knew that Merry and Pippin were going to be fine but that didn't stop the fear, worry and doubt.

She tuned out the rest of the conversation consumed by her worry and didn't come back to reality until Eden poked her and motioned to Eomer who was calling forward four horses.

Destiny grinned and approached one of them, stroking her hands across his smooth brown mane. She swung up with relative ease.

Eden on the other hand was having a bit of trouble, she knew the basics but actually getting on was another thing entirely. "Destiny, give me your hand!" She pleaded as she jumped a little in a futile attempt to get on the horse

"Do you need help. . .mounting him?" asked one of Eomer's riders.  
>Eden turned with a grateful smile but then noticed his disgusting leer and heard Gimli snort. Aragorn and Destiny just sighed.<p>

She looked up at him and smiled slowly, looking him over from head to toe."I don't think you have the right. . ._equipment_."

Several of the other Riders burst into deep, masculine laughter and began to make rather crude jokes at the rider's expense. Aragorn was leaning his face into his horse's mane, Gimli was chuckling, Destiny was nearly out of her saddle, laughing so hard, and Legolas looked like he had been clipped with Sam's frying pan.

Eden then turned and mounted the horse effortlessly. She helped Destiny right herself and then smiled at them all innocently. "Was it something I said?"

Gimli laughed harder.

* * *

><p>Destiny was very glad that Eden had put them in such a good mood before arriving here. She doubted the chances of finding a charred hobbit, but since she was still aglow from Eden's snub this was only slightly less worse then it could be.<p>

Gimli held up a belt, tears gleaming in his black eyes. "One of their wee belts," he said softly.

Legolas turned his face away. He murmured under his breath in Elvish, Destiny thought it sounded something like a prayer.

Then Aragorn let out a scream of rage and dropped to his knees.

Eden watched, _He sounds like me when I'm mad at my car._She thought sheepishly

Then Aragorn noticed something. The rest of the fellowship watched him before they started to follow him across the field, listening to him mutter. "They went into Fangorn," he says softly, and they stood there and stared at the forest.

"Fangorn," Gimli whispered.

"What madness could have driven them there?" Legolas asked

Eden giggled. "Uuhh...Orcs? Maybe?"

Destiny shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

They walked in.

* * *

><p>Eden stared up at the trees in awe, wondering how old they were and, if they could speak, what stories they would tell.<p>

"This forest is old," Legolas whispered. His expression is reverent. "Full of memory...and anger."

Groans suddenly fill their air. Eden squeaked and practically jumped into Destiny's arms "Is that the TREES?" She whispered, Destiny wrapped her arms around Eden and herself, quietly willing her flesh to stop crawling.

Gimli raised his axe.

"They are speaking," Legolas said softly, directing it mostly at Destiny. "They have sense of the world around them, just as we do."

"The TREES?" Destiny whispered back, not even bothering to keep the disbelief out of her voice. She supposed she should feel sorry, but, it's just...they're TREES.

Legolas just smiled. "Aye, the trees."

"Gimli," Eden hissed back over her shoulder. "Lower your axe. You're making the trees nervous." She gave Legolas a sarcastic look.

Legolas glared back. Destiny touched their arms. "Now, now, play nice."

They both turn and stare at her. Legolas frowned, glanced around the forest, then turned back to Aragorn and said something in Elvish.

Aragorn answered

"The White Wizard approaches," Legolas whispered.

They all drew their weapons, whipping around with a yell. Eden and Destiny grip their staves before swearing and dropping it as the wood heated.

They stood there, clutching their burnt hands, glaring at the bright flash of white with long hair and robes. Eden then belatedly realizes that it was Gandalf. She resisted the urge to face palm.

"You are tracking the footsteps of two young Hobbits," the White Wizard said, and Eden resisted the urge to call him Count Dooku.

"Where are they?" Aragorn demands. Destiny realized He would look much fiercer if he wasn't cradling his hand.

"They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?" he continued.

"Um...no?" Destiny whispered.

"Who are you?" Aragorn demanded. "Show yourself."

The light faded, and it was Gandalf.

Destiny sighed and leaned against a tree. _This much stress cannot be good for your heart_.

The others murmured with surprise. Legolas kneeled.

Destiny raised an eyebrow at Legolas's bent form. _I am NOT kneeling before Gandalf. Maybe if I just fall down. . .  
><em>  
>Gandalf started telling the fellowship how he defeated the Balrog. But Destiny wasn't paying any attention, the ground was spinning. And it was not pleasant.<p>

She hit the ground. And Eden let out a startled shriek.

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><p><strong>ohmigoodness the closest I've ever been to a cliffy! hurray! <strong>

**KayKay so I would truly like to thank dancing penguin, Imogen Color, PennBlaze, and MoonBeingRuler for Favoriting, Reviewing, or putting this story on your alerts. It means the world you guys :)**


	19. Men, Fight scenes, & Grima the Greasy

**Hey, hows life? long time no see! I have your chappie for you!**

**Disclaimer: so. . .yeah, it's not mine**

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><p>They were already riding when Destiny woke up. She was riding with Eden, who let a happy scream when she opened her eyes.<p>

She leaned forward to talk to her. "Are you all better now?"

Destiny nodded, slowly, rubbing her temples. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Gimli says from nearby. When she turned to glare at him, he grinned at her through his beard.

She smiled back.

"You were pushing yourself too hard," Aragorn explains. "You have not been eating, nor resting as well as you should."

Destiny grimaced and rubbed her head. "OK. I'll watch that."

Aragorn opens his mouth to continue, and she held up a hand. "I get it, Aragorn. It won't happen again. I'll be good, I promise."

Aragorn frowns at her before shooting a look at Eden. One that clearly meant: watch her.

Eden gave a small nod and quickly looked away; she knew it was her fault. By having all those nightmares she had made Dee so worried that she wasn't resting or eating well. It made Eden sick to know she had caused this.

* * *

><p>"Edoras," Gandalf announced dramatically sometime later. "And the Golden Hall of Meduseld. Be on your guard, and expect no welcome here."<p>

"Meduseld," Eden rolled the word on her tongue before whispering to Destiny, "Is it just me, or does that sound like cough syrup?"

Destiny just looked at her

Eden shifted awkwardly "Yeah. Um, maybe it's just me."

Now, Destiny hadn't meant to tune out from the world, honest! One moment she's trying to decide whether a cloud looked like an elephant or a hippo then suddenly, bam! Everyone's off their horse and she's still staring at the sky like some idiot.

She discreetly slides down from her horse, watching everyone else. "Ye'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli muttered.

"Sheesh, I've never seen a group of more depressed people." Eden murmured as they climb the stairs. Gandalf smiles at the guy at the door. "Ah," he said happily.

"I cannot allow you before Théoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame. By the order of..." He's quiet for a second, then continues, like he'll say it, but he's not happy about it. "Grima Wormtongue."

"If THAT isn't the most conspicuous bad-guy name since Severus Snape." Destiny muttered under her breath. Eden choked on her giggles.

Gandalf turned to the group and nods. Reluctant in every gesture, the boys hand over their weapons. Aragorn and Gandalf hand over their swords, Legolas his bow and quiver, and Gimli his axes.

Destiny's eyes widened as Gimli handed over at least four axes. "Where in the world did he put those?!" she hissed to Eden, who shrugged.

"I don't know, but he has to teach me how to do it." She replied as she handed Aragorn her staff.

Eden and Destiny drew the knives that Celeborn gave them out of their boots. Eden took them all and held them out, and the guard didn't even look at her. It wasn't until she thwacked him on the shoulder with the hilts to get him to even look at her, and then he did a double-take, like he can't believe they were stupid enough to arm a woman.

"You gonna take these or not?" She asked, and she knew she sounded rude, but she was sick of how men had been treating her and Destiny since day one.

"You're women," he blurts.

"Good eye," Destiny said sarcastically.

"Who would allow women to fight?" he asks incredulously.

"I'd rather have these lassies at me back then a lot of men I know," Gimli snarled.

Eden grins at him. "Thanks, Gimli." She dumps the daggers at the guard and then takes her staff back and shoves that at him as well. Grumbling bitterly as Destiny handed her staff over as well.

Destiny looked around and realized that Gimli's statement could be taken as a personal insult, which, know that she thought about it, it probably was.

Destiny and Legolas exchange glances then roll their eyes almost simultaneously. He's not real impressed either. She leaned over to whisper to him. "Are the Men here always like this?"

"Yes," he muttered back, giving the lead guy the evil eye.

She shook her head. "That's bad. Like everybody's suffering a permanent case of testosterone poisoning." She sighed, "All I know is that Eddie can't take much more of this. Another encounter like that she's gonna start ripping off heads."

Legolas frowned at her. "I do not know these words. And yes, it is plainly seen that Eden has reached her limit,"

Destiny smiled and patted him on the back. "Don't worry about them right know, I'll explain it when you're older."

Legolas looked at her, confused. Wasn't he already hundreds of years older than her?

"Your staff," Hama said to Gandalf.

"Oh," Gandalf said. "But I am old. If I may not lean on my staff as I go, then I shall not go in until it pleases Théoden to hobble out himself to speak to me."

Then he stumbles slightly, leaning on his staff and Legolas's arm.

The guard turns to Legolas, giving him a helpless look, but Legolas just gives him this adorable, wide-eyed look.

Destiny giggles, and Eden realizes that she has become the Grand Champion Master at choking on laughter to hold it back.

Gandalf drops Aragorn a wink, leaning on his arm now, and Legolas drops back between Destiny and Gimli.

Destiny smiled up at him, and he reaches up one hand to trace the corner of my mouth. "That, my Lady, is something that should be seen for more often."

And then he walks after Gandalf and Aragorn, leaving her gaping after him like a fish.

"What the HELL was that all about?" Eden squealed excitedly as she pulls her dazed friend inside.

* * *

><p>"The courtesy of your hall is lessened of late, Théoden, King," Gandalf says in his big, impressive voice.<p>

Eden rears back at the sight of Grima. _My god, that guy looks like he rolled in a puddle of grease from a burger fryer. He's greasy, he's pale, he's slimy, he's dressed all in black, and he even LOOKS spineless. _

Destiny leans over by Eden's ear "Well, fuck, no wonder he's evil. If I looked like that, I'd be pissed at the world too. "

Eden upholds her title as Grand Champion Master.

"Why have you...come...Gandalf...Stormcrow?"

"How, pray tell, do you NOT notice when your king looks like he died a couple of months ago?" Destiny once again provides commentary.

Eden shrugs, "I know not, I am from America, there, we have no King."

Destiny resists the urge to face palm.

"A just question, my liege," said Grima. He stands and starts to walk towards Gandalf, trying to look threatening.

Eden then begins to wonder what clouds taste like, trying her hardest not to wonder if he's dripping grease all over the nice shiny floor.

"Lathspell I name you, Ill-news, for ill news is an ill guest, I say."

"Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth," Gandalf snaps. "I did not cross fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm!"

Eden smirks as she and destiny quietly high-five. _Gandalf: 1 Grima the Greasy: -124_

Then the fight began.

The boys leap into action. Destiny steps out from behind Gandalf and smiles innocently at the big bulky guard about to take a swing at her. He pauses, his eyes widening as he takes in her features, and then, being a guy, they drop down to look at her chest. She punches him full out in the face. He falls on his ass.

Silently applauding herself Destiny looks for Eden ignoring how Théoden was laughing in a not-Théoden voice. Destiny then sees Eden, ducking a punch from a smaller guard, who looks about fifteen years younger than the rest of them.

Eden rushed him, tackled him around the waist, and slammed him to the ground. He grabs at her, and she bounces out of reach.

Destiny rolled her eyes as she approaches her friend. Eden looks up and says, as if knowing what her friend was thinking, "Yes, I bounced. I bounced like a Tigger on crack."

Suddenly, a bright light fills the room and Gandalf is shaking his staff at Théoden. Destiny clamps a hand over Eden's mouth, which had been wide open, to prevent her from shouting something along the lines of 'the Power of Christ compels you!'

Then, just like that, the fights over, and Théoden's staggering to his feet. Grima tried to crawl by Gimli, but the Dwarf kicked him in the gut and then plants a foot on his chest. "I'd stay put, if I were you."

One of the guards hands Théoden his sword, and then Théoden grabs Grima by the collar and hauls him out onto the steps. We all troop out after them. Destiny grinned as Théoden chucked Grima down the stairs.

"I only ever desired to serve you, my Lord," Grima calls back, cowering like a kicked dog.

"You would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" Théoden bellows, staggering down the steps.

Destiny realized that he now moved like he's drunk. But she didn't make any comments; at least he was mobile now.

They watch as Aragorn steps in on Grima's behalf. He stepped down, extending a hand towards the slimy git, and Grima spits in his face.

"Asshole," Eden muttered. Gimli glances back at her as Destiny nods her agreement and ads, "Shoulda killed him."

To her surprise, it's Legolas who murmurs his agreement. "The only good enemy is a dead enemy."

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><p><strong>so, yeah. I could apologize for taking forever with this chapter and give excuses about how busy I have been with my educational life and what not. but im not, cause I took forver and a day and my excuses are pathetic.<strong>

**I would like to thank Pink Penguins for Reviewing. Here is the chapter darling! Thank you for reviewing you deserve like a cookie or something in all seriousness. But I don't have any, so take some Halloween Candy! Just not the Kit-Kat's, those are mine.**


	20. Tears, Riding, and the Period Card

**Hiya! how was Thanksgiving you guys? Mine was good, I got pleasantly chubby and everything!**

**Who saw the hobbit? Isn't Martin Freeman just the best? and Benedict Cumberbatch's smexy voice as Smaug? LOOOVED IT!**

**disclaimer: I don't own it.**

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><p>Eden decided right then and there that funerals sucked. And she was serious. This was the second one she'd been to in under a month and they just made her feel horrible. It didn't matter if she had never met Theodred, it was a terrible thing and all the death was making her sick.<p>

Later that same day she sat in what she thought might be the throne room trying her hardest not to look bored as Eowyn tended to some children. She watched half-heartedly as Gandalf and Aragorn tried to convince Théoden that war would be better than locking yourself in a box, like pigs in a pen, waiting for the slaughter.

Destiny must have felt the pessimistic vibes she was giving of because she looked up from the book she'd snuck under the table and raised an eyebrow.

Eden rolled her eyes and motioned to the trio of quarreling men. Destiny sighed and quietly crouched down next to Eden's chair. "Théoden is being a paranoid idiot," Eden muttered under her breath.

Destiny shook her head, whispering "Eddie, paranoia will keep you alive. All courage gets you is dead."

"Except, y'know, in this case it's the lack of courage that's going to wipe out Rohan." Eden whispered back.

"I will not bring open war upon my people," Théoden said firmly.

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not," Aragorn argued.

"Last time I looked, it was Théoden, not Aragorn, who was king here," Théoden said, shooting Aragorn a steely glare.

Eden huffed and pushed her way to her feet. Destiny lightly touched her arm and Eden smiles at her, shaking her head. Destiny snorts in disbelief and clambers to her feet as well, together they walk out the doors.

They wander most of Edoras for the rest of the afternoon. When they get back, just before sunset, they find the boys, minus Gandalf, out on the training grounds. Legolas is practicing his archery. Destiny huffed at this. She didn't know why he practiced; she hadn't seen him miss a shot yet. Gimli was sitting on a bench. She mused on this for a moment before looking up again, Eden had walked up to Aragorn and they stood nearby, talking quietly. As she got closer, Destiny realized that they're talking about what could possibly make Legolas miss a shot.

When she finally got up next to them, Eden turned and smirked deviously. "What do ya say Dee? Could you perhaps use your "feminine wiles,"" At this she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "To make Leggy miss a shot?"

Destiny stared at her, confused. _Feminine wiles? What the hell is she...Oh. Oh, I get it.  
><em>  
>"Wipe that smirk off your face or I'll remove it for you, buddy" Destiny told Eden playfully before smiling at Aragorn, "I don't know about feminine wiles," She said, sheepishly before starting for Legolas. "But I'll do it."<p>

She stood next to Legolas for a moment, arms folded over her chest, just watching. His eyes flickered towards her every few seconds, like he's afraid she'll snatch the bow out of his hands.

Destiny struggled with the urge to smirk; she had absolutely no interest in his bow.

As he drew the string back, sighting along the arrow, preparing to shoot, she leaned over and, very, very softly, blew into the tip of his ear.

His arms jerked, and the arrow missed its target by just under a mile. It shot about five or eight feet from the edge of the target, sailed over low to the ground, and buried itself in the side of the stables, halfway to the fletching.

Destiny could hear Eden and Gimli laughing behind her. Legolas had gone very still. There's a slight tightening around his eyes.

_Ooh, I think I've pissed him off._

He squeezed his eyes shut, lowers his bow, and actually shivers. "Was that TRULY necessary?" he asks, and his voice is a little bit tight.

Destiny actually stopped and thought about it. Was it necessary? "Well, no," she confessed. Then she grinned up at him. "But I've wanted to do that for WEEKS." She lean over and kiss his cheek. "Sorry, you're the only Elf I've got to torture."

Legolas smiled at her, a gentle, almost fond expression. "Perhaps I should have convinced Lord Elrond to send a certain one of his guards instead."

"Now there's a horrifying thought," Destiny replied, and he laughed.

* * *

><p>Destiny was truly starting to wonder when she had ever truly liked horses. They had been riding and riding and riding for god knew how long now. Eden was glaring at Aragorn, Legolas was being his usual all studly- Elf-guy self, Gimli was quiet, and Aragorn was getting to know Eowyn.<p>

Eden brought her horse up beside Destiny's "I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to have to use a poker on HIM." She shot another dark look at Aragorn. He missed it. "Were they this cuddly in the book?"

Destiny Shrugged as they slid down from their horses and began to set up camp.

Later that night Eden and Destiny remembered something vital a little too late. Eowyn couldn't cook. At all

Eden looked at the bowl in Destiny's hands and shuddered, _I'm not even sure what this stuff IS. It's got white bits floating in it, and it looks like it tastes TERRIBLE._

She watched Destiny keep her face from twisting in disgust. _Scratch that, it does taste terrible_

"Is it good?" Eowyn asks Destiny nervously, twisting her hands.

She smiled weakly. "It's delicious," She managed, lying through her pearly-whites.

She smiles hugely, ladling up another bowl. "Would you like some, my Lord?" she asks Legolas.

The Elf shakes his head, a little too quickly. "Nay, my Lady. I have no hunger."

Gimli mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'lucky you.'

Eden saw Eowyn attempt to place Legolas' bowl before her. She had to act fast. Eden gave the woman a sheepish smile , "I'd love some, honest I would but I, I'm" She looked at the men In their circle before motioning her down to her level. "It's my . . . Monthly." Eden lied, whispering loudly "And the cramps make it too much to eat something. I know I should but the pain is too much, when I feel better I'll find you and eat, alright?"

Eowyn nodded sympathetically and patted Eden on her shoulder in a comforting manner. She picked up the bowl. "I'll take this to Lord Aragorn." She pauses, looking uncertain. "Do you think he'll like it?"

Legolas smiled. Eden decided that, if you looked closely, it looked really to vicious.

"He'll love it," the Elf assured her.

Eowyn hurries off, grinning. As soon as she's out of sight, everyone turned to Eden with a look that clearly asked the question Destiny voiced angrily as she dumped her bowl out. "You horrible little snot! How dare you pull the period card!"

Gimli watched Eden carefully, "Lass, you're not really, uh-"

Eden fell over laughing.

Destiny shook her head in complete disgust. "Of course she's not; she just said it to get out of eating _that."_

Legolas chuckled. "She seems rather taken with Aragorn," He said softly, talking about Eowyn.

Destiny and Eden smirked at him. "You noticed."

* * *

><p>Hours later, Eden looked at the scenery, bored. "Rohan's pretty, and all that, but . . . still. I'm not the outdoorsy type."<p>

Destiny opens her mouth to reply when she is cut off by Théoden.

"What is it?" Théoden yelled. "What did you see?"

"Wargs!" Aragorn hollered back. "We're under attack."

"Ah, fuck-Shit." Eden muttered as she watched the panic build around them.

"All riders to the head of the column!" Théoden calls out, wheeling his horse.

Destiny watched the chaos around her, _do I stay or do I go? I'm on a horse. Does that make me a rider?_

Then she saw Eden swing up on her horse. Which confirmed all her questions, she turned her horse to go after her reckless friend. _If she gets her ass killed, I am going to be so pissed._

She is about to ride after Eden when she saw one woman with about eight kids. Most of them are old enough to know to hurry, but one is a little girl with messy blond braids, and she's only about four.

Destiny sighed, rode over, scooped her up, and took her over to her mother. Destiny was about to hang around, maybe offer the mother her horse...

She glares at her. "Take my baby and go. I don't need your horse! Go!"

She nods and rides. She knew not mess with mommas. It's just not something you do.

* * *

><p>Destiny talked to the little girl as they rode. Destiny learned that her name was Ally, and when Destiny asked her how old she was, she smiled wide, held up three fingers, and said 'this many.' Destiny now firmly believed that she was adorable.<p>

"I wanna be just like Lady Eowyn when I grow up!" she said.

_So...you wanna grow up to...what, hang all over Aragorn, not be able to cook, and worry too much about honor? _Destiny thought as she watched that smiley face, then frowned at herself. She couldn't say that. "You wanna be a lady of Rohan?"

Ally nodded excitedly. "Uh-huh! And she can ride really good and I bet the Orcs are afraid of her she can fight so well."

Destiny smiled and ruffled her hair, trying not to think of the battle she'd left her friend at or the one that was coming. "You just be a kid first, let other people worry about Orc- smashing. OK?"

She nods, and leans back against her, almost immediately going to sleep. Destiny looked down at the sleeping girl; kids had always liked her for some reason. This, now that she thought about it, really sucked for them, because she didn't like kids.

"Helm's Deep!" someone calls. "We've made it! We're here!"

Destiny sighed audibly with relief. _Glory hallelujah_

Destiny dismounted in the courtyard, and then lifted Ally down and carried her. "Do you see your momma, honey?" She asked softly, pulling her long braids back off of her face.

"Alede!" Destiny hears a cry, and she turns to see Ally's mother hurrying over. "Oh, Ally, my little one..."

Destiny smiles wide and hands her over.

"Thank you, my Lady," the woman says, clasping one of her hands. "Thank you."

she squeezes her hand in return. "It's just Destiny, and you're welcome."

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, looking confused.

"Destiny," She clarified, pointing at herself. "I'm just Destiny, not 'my Lady.'"

She smiles. "My name is Freya."

Destiny gives Ally's braids a tug and she giggles. "Your daughter's beautiful, Freya. Take care of them."

"I will. Thank you," she said, smiled again, and walked away.

She closed her eyes, and sighs, and takes a deep breath, trying to tune out all of the noise.

"My Lady? Lady Destiny?"

Destiny frowned, _that doesn't even sound right._

She turned back, looked at Eowyn, and sighed. "What can I do?"

"Make way for Théoden!" Somebody hollered about half an hour later. "Make way for the king!"

Eowyn grabbed Destiny hand. "They have returned!" And she takes off down the corridor. She follows behind her, slower. Destiny was a firm believer of not running unless she was in mortal danger. At least she thought so, until she saw Eden skip inside, a bored yet sated look on her face. Almost as if she'd met her quota of desired bloodshed, Destiny squealed and launched herself at her friend. Then punched her hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Eden grumbled as she rubbed her newly acquired bruise, "what was that for?"

Destiny huffed before hugging her friend, "You take off like that again, and Eddie I swear I'll do something violent!"

Eden hugged her back, "Don't worry 'bout me, Im fine. But Legolas . . ." Eden turned to were the Elf was walking in. She shoved Destiny forward, "Go check on him for me, will you?"

Destiny stumbled before skidding to a stop in front of Legolas. Destiny watches him, it was very clear that if she hadn't put her hand on his chest to stop him, he would've seen her. She smiled up at him, but when she noticed the expression on his face, her smile slipped a bit.

"What?" She asked, laying her hand on his wrist. "What's wrong?"

He doesn't answer, just lowers his eyes to his hand. It's clenched in a tight fist, and Destiny knew what she was going to see even before she pulled his fingers away.

Arwen's pendant. Which Aragorn would never, ever part with, and everybody knows it. She closed his hand back over the pendant and meets his eyes. "Oh." she ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head "OK. No, that's just . . . No." She shook her head and looked away. "Umm . . . I have to go and, Check on . . . Stuff" She turns and all but bolts down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Eden sat in the room assigned to them, trying her hardest not to cry, she knew that Aragorn was going to fall, that he would survive, but . . .<p>

She began to sob, tears flowing hard. As if she had held most of them back at a different time, but were rushing forward now. When the door creaked she looked up and saw Destiny, she too was holding back tears. A few slid down her cheek and she ran to Eden and they held each other, crying.

Destiny pulled herself together and looked down at her friend, who was starting to make a bit of a puddle. "This isn't just about Aragorn, is it?"

Eden whimpered softly and clung to Destiny tighter. Destiny sighed and began to smooth her friends hair down. "I thought not."

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><p><strong>So. . . here. I would like to thank pink penguins for reviewing and Novel One-Shot for Favoriting me as an author <strong>

**pink penguins: thank you for reviewing and yeah, Im loving all this fluffy DestinyxLegolas stuff I keep putting in here, it makes my day.**

**Novel One-Shot: Thanks for Favoriting me! that means the world, looking forward to more of your PMs!**

**Have good Winter Breaks and remember! Reviews to me are like mysteries to Sherlock Holmes!**


	21. Battle Axes, and Imminent Doom

**Happy New Year! How is everyone? I was fine, until I went back to school and caught some disgusting stomach virus. So as I laid in bed, feeling gross and sorry for myself I decided to write the next chapter for you guys! **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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><p>Destiny sat around, bored. She hadn't seen Legolas or Gimli in hours, and Eden had ditched her a while back, muttering something about battle axes. She supposed that she should be worried, but opted out on that and watched Eowyn instead. The girl was all tearful, like she's trying to be strong and failing.<p>

Destiny sighed, irritated, and rolled her eyes. Come _ON, chick, you didn't even KNOW him that well. Get over it, already.  
><em>  
>Honestly, there were bigger things to worry about. Like what if having extra people on the fellowship somehow changed everything? What if Aragorn's dead?<p>

If he is, Destiny realized, Arwen was going to kill her.

Suddenly, someone puts a hand on her shoulder, and she spun, fist clenched, before she could even think about it. Luckily, Legolas caught her wrist before her fist made contact with his face.

Legolas arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you all right, Destiny?"

She yanked her fist out of his grip. "Do I fucking look all right?" She muttered.

"No," Legolas said. "You don't look all right, which makes me ask another question. What is wrong?"

Destiny rolled her eyes. "We're all about to be slaughtered. What could possibly be wrong?"

Legolas looked away, as if lost in thought, before smiling and taking her hand. "Come, there is something you must see. I feel that it will lighten your mood."

Destiny allowed Legolas to drag her down hallway after hallway until they came to an indoor training ground of sorts. She looked around, not understanding. "What are we doing here . . .?"

Then she saw.

There was Eden, toting a battle axe. Slinging it around with a scary amount of precision. She was going through a series of steps; all of which were being shouted at her by Gimli.

Destiny watched her best friend handle a weapon the same height as her, amazed. She took a couple steps forward and called out. "Hey! Watch were you put that thing! You could break something!"

Eden looked up and smiled wide before turning to Gimli. After they exchanged a few words Eden handed her axe to him and ran over to Destiny.

"Hey! Did you see me? I'm beast with that thing!" Eden boasted as they stood in the doorway, almost blocking entry. Which is probably why a stranger spoke up.

"Why would learning how to handle such a weapon be of your concern?"

"How would my imminent death NOT be my problem?" Eden demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Battle is a...how do you say...MANLY concern," Legolas said softly, amused.

Destiny gave him an irritated look. He shrugged. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. This is so stupid!"

"How so?" The Stranger asks, folding his arms across his chest and assuming a patronizing expression.

Legolas actually winced.

Eden glared up at him. "Don't fucking look at me like that, whoever you are. I may not be a great big warrior, but I still know stupid when I see it." Eden turned to Destiny, "He has all the women locked back in the caves!"

"Yes?"

"Mothers whose children are in danger are a truly fierce thing," Legolas said softly.

"Women have no place in battle," He says firmly. "It is their place to prepare for the return of their men."

Destiny stares at him, then turn to look at Legolas. "Is he serious?"

Legolas holds out his hands but nods. "Yes, 'tis the way of Men."

Eden frowned up at the stranger "We're going to fight about this, aren't we?"

He shakes his head. "Fight about what?"

"She wants to fight," Legolas explained. He speaks slowly. Destiny wondered if he was actually getting irritated.

Gimli comes wandering up. "What are ye all talking about?"

"Eden and Destiny want to fight in the upcoming battle," Legolas says again. He leans back against the wall, looking tired.

"Good for them," Gimli says gruffly. "Be good to have these lasses at our backs."

The man sputters.

Legolas sighs and rubs his temples.

"That's absurd!" He explodes, glaring at both of them. "They are women!"

"Good eye," destiny said sarcastically, glaring at him.

"Women are not warriors," he snarls at her.

"Look." Eden hissed, marching into his personal space. "I don't know who you think you are, and quite frankly, I don't really care. But you must be putting the wrong things into your pipe if you honestly believe you can get away with speaking to Destiny like that."

The stranger opens his mouth to speak, but then notices the expressions on Legolas' and Gimli's faces. He swallows before frowning at Eden and walking away.

Destiny watched him walk away, "who the fuck was that?"

Legolas frowns at Destiny's cursing before turning to watch the man walk away "I know not, but he is one of little faith. Even if your skills are enough, The Dwarf and I shall watch over you both." He smiled at them. "You will both emerge from the battle alive."

Gimli snorted. "I'm more worried about the rest of us then the lass."

Destiny leaned her head against Eden's shoulder. "I hate this. I hate waiting."

Legolas sighed. "We are backed into a corner."

Eden nodded and straightened Destiny. "We're going to go see if Eowyn needs any more help getting the people settled in."

She dragged her friend away.

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><p>Destiny and Eden were piling food and clothing aside for the wounded when Eowyn suddenly shakes their arms. "He has returned," she said, her voice joyful.<p>

Eden's head jerks up. And there's Aragorn, looking utterly filthy and beaten, but alive, wonderfully alive.

She grins and pushes off the wall, walking over to them. Legolas sees them coming and steps back. Aragorn turns to face them, and they both throw their arms around his neck, laughing. "You stupid bastard, don't DO that," Destiny say, laughing into his shoulder. Eden pushes away from him, Shoving Destiny off as well, and looks him over critically. "Ug, you look awful."

He glances at the Elf, looking amused. "So I've been told." Then his face turns serious.  
>"I need to find the King, an army marches this way."<p>

Destiny sighed. "Great, just great. That is just what this day needed. Imminent doom."

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><p><strong>Well, there you go! happy Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and any other religous holiday that was around this time that I didn't mention!<strong>

**I would like to thank pink penguins, and Crazylily1007 for reviewing and following my story!**

**pink penguins: Those are probably the only good things about it. And oh thats sucks, best of luck! Eat lots of chocolate and relax. And thanks for thinking that that chapter was adorable.**

**Crazylily1007: Thank you for following my story! And I'm so glad my story has made you laugh.**

**Have a great 2013 you guys, I'm off to watch Pocahontas and eat some soup.**


	22. Sketchy happenings, back gates, & Elves

**Hey. I'm alive, very not dead. . . how are you? Happy Easter!**

**Disclaim to own this!**

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><p>Eden sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. She and Destiny were currently handing out weapons, helping to arm little boys and men old enough to be their grandfather. She'd pulled on a chain mail shirt, and bracers, and along with destiny, was wearing her weapons in the open. The little boys are looking at them and Aragorn and the warriors of Rohan with open admiration. The looks they gave Legolas and Gimli are nervous.<p>

Personally, Eden scared absolutely shitless. But she certainly didn't let any of the warriors of Rohan see that, she was certain that they'd see it as a victory.

Eden looked up when Legolas and Aragorn start to argue. She sighed, and exchanged a glance with Destiny. They had noticed the looks that Legolas has been giving the not-exactly-impressive little army. Eden knows he doesn't think they can win.

Neither did she.

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn yelled, and then stormed away.

"Great," Destiny muttered.

Eden nodded. "Yeah."

"We're going to die," Destiny whispers to Eden under her breath.

Eden nodded again. "Help me scale over the back wall into heaven?"

Destiny sighs. "Only if you promise to remember to yank me up after you."

Eden glanced at her. "But of course, who else would keep me company?"

Destiny nods this time and they fall silent, then "You know we only trained for twenty-three days right?"

Eden arches an eyebrow in question

"And we beat _Elves_ in _Twenty-Three days_ Eddie, Twenty-Three! And lord only knows how long they've been training before we showed up, and we'd never touched weapons before hand!"

Eden touched her shoulder. "You think there's something more to this, more than freak accidents with Mary Sues, don't you?"

"It just doesn't make sense," Destiny said with a shake of her head. "I don't know what to think, all I know is that this is fuckin' sketchy."

Eden smiled halfheartedly and gave her friend and awkward one-armed hug "We'll just take this one day at a time."

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><p>Destiny looked at the sky and frowned, it was going to rain. She then looked around her and scowled. <em>This entire joint is going to smell like rust. Eww.<em>

She was huddling with Eden outside, by the wall, watching the men hurry by. Aragorn was pacing, suiting up for the coming battle. Gimli was with Legolas, out by the wall, scouting. And Eowyn was helping the people back into the caves. Destiny noted that Théoden was starting to look a little panicked.

_What fun._

She pushed away from the wall, and ran her hands through her hair. With a nod to Eden, who immediately pushed of the wall, Destiny head back to the armory. Legolas and Aragorn are talking quietly, and Gimli was now suiting up.

Destiny looked at Gimli with cool approval. He wasn't like the little boys of Rohan that were his height, running about in too-long mail shirt. He looked like a battle- hungry dwarf. In mail that fits.

Aragorn turned and frowned at the girls. "You both are dressed to go to battle."

Eden groaned. "Not you, too."

He gives me a confused look.

Legolas grins. There's a gleam in his eyes that Destiny can't quite identify. _It's almost like he's looking forward to the coming battle. I always knew Elves were crazy._

"She and another solider have discussed the fact that perhaps they should not participate."

"Lass didn't take that suggestion too well," Gimli chuckled.

Eden grinned, it's nasty and bloodthirsty. "I hope he'll never make that argument again. Next time I may not be so nice and allow him to keep his head." She twirls her battle axe thoughtfully.

Destiny looked from Gimli, to Legolas. Gimli both look grim and determined, like Aragorn, but there's a gleam in his eyes that Aragorn didn't have. Anticipation.

And Legolas...well, Destiny thought that he looked gorgeous. But she shook that thought away; thoughts like those got you hurt. Hurt like Eden, hurt. But Destiny noted that he had that same look. That battle-ready gleam.

She shook her head. "You guys are enjoying this way too much."

Aragorn glanced at them, smiling slightly. "Battle holds a certain zest for our companions, my Lady."

Eden giggled. "Battle I understand why, I guess. It's the politics of running anything and the decision to do it willingly that confuse me."

Legolas nodded in agreement. Gimli just snorted. "Politics I doubt I shall have to worry about."

"Lucky you," Legolas said wryly.

Aragorn's attention remained fixed on Destiny and Eden, just a steady, unnerving stare. Destiny wondered if he picked that look up from Elrond. "What?" She asked, sounding almost as irritable as she felt.

"Why do you both wish to fight?" Aragorn asks. "It is possible that you will perish."

Destiny shrugged, and after meeting eyes with Eden, began to study her feet. "I...just have to."

"Why?" Aragorn pressed. "To prove your valor? For honor and acclaim?"

Eden stared at him and Destiny and her exchanged a glance before they started to laugh. "Aragorn, I'm sorry, but I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about honor or valor." She wheezed.

"Or acclaim or song or any of that other crap." Eden tacked on

"Then why?"

Destiny made sure to look eyes with Aragorn now, holding him there. "Maybe because me being out there can save somebody else. Maybe I can take out a couple bad guys."

"And if me dying out there can save just one little boy from dying the same way," Eden said hotly, "I will gladly jump in front of that Orc."

There's a long silence. Then Aragorn leans forward and places a hand on both their shoulders. "That is honor, and that is true courage, for these are not your people."

Destiny frowned, chewing on her lip. "But they ARE. I mean, I wasn't born here, or anything like that, but..." She shook her head. "I'm going to fight and maybe die beside them. That makes them my people."

Eden nodded fiercely, showing her agreement.

Aragorn nods slowly. "Agreed."

Then the sound of a horn broke through the air.

Legolas looked up sharply. "That is no Orc horn," the Elf said softly, and then headed up the stairs. They all trooped after him.

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><p>"Look! Elves! Bunches and bunches of Elves!" Eden whispered excitedly<p>

"And it's that guy – remember, the one from 'Lorien?" Destiny murmured

Eden looked at her quizzically, before. "Oh! The cranky border guy? Yeah, him. He's got that...nose."

Destiny and Eden looked each other, both silently asking the other for the Elf's name.

"Haldir!" Aragorn calls.

"Oooooooh, that's his name." Eden said wonderingly

"Mae govannen!" Aragorn said, and hugs him.

Legolas cleared his throat. Haldir looked surprised, but then returned it, really awkwardly.

"Yeesh, when was the last time he hugged anybody." Destiny said as Eden averted her eyes from the sheer uncomfortable-ness that oozed from the brief touch.

Then he and Legolas clap each other on the shoulders, and Haldir turns back to Théoden. "We are proud to fight alongside Men once more."

Destiny suddenly turned and hugged Eden tightly, while said girl sighed with relief. It looked like she wouldn't have to scale walls anytime soon.

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><p><strong>So I would like to thank Padfootisawesome, and pink penguins, for reviewing, or following, andor favoriting!**

**pink penguins:** I don't think you realize how much your review means, to think that this is actually a good oc story is amazing and very sweet. thank you :)


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